Reflections

"The forces of death are heavy. The forces of death are stiff, shiny, bombastic. The forces of life are very gentle, very vulnerable, very small, sometimes even unnoticeable. Where there is life, something is growing...Much more important than saying "no" to the forces of death is saying "Yes," again and again and again, to those vulnerable sources of life." -Henri Nouwen

It's a very real struggle as I feel the pain of losing my father to death 10 years ago today.
Memories are slim and fleeting after this long, but his face in pictures and memory is beautiful and familiar.
It seems he lives on most especially in my brother's spirit. My soon to be sister-in-law has recognized this in my brother and set this day aside and took him down to my mom's house so they could help her work on a special book of letters and memories from my dad's funeral. It's amazing, because tradition and holidays have never been very significant or intentional in my family. However, today in addition to working on the book, they'll be decorating my mom's house for Christmas particularly with decorations that were special to my dad...he has a collection of Bah Hum Bug pieces... I can sense the longing for tradition and living memory in what they're doing...I wish I could be there. It's so rare that I feel that...But, I imagine this is this first year of tradition starting. Finally, after 10 years we're allowing ourselves to live in the memory of my father's death.