taking the long way

Thanksgiving to Christmas!

2011-12-27T10:59:00.001-08:00

Here's a few updated pics of the last month or so.
Enjoy...
I'll write more soon for all you checking in from the Christmas letter!

Me and Ahpa earlier this December

My other father, me and K at the SD Zoo.

Pro stink-facer.
(Thanksgiving Numero Uno at the Yancey's! )

Thanksgiving numero dos
(Numero Tres was Twilight with my pseudo father-in-law)

Thanksgiving Hosts!

What good sports our parents are

Game On Settlers Fans!!

My big win! I think I was orange :) check out that longest road suckers!

My pretty little latte

Merry Christmas from the Sands!! - and Santa!

My first Dutch Baby in my new Dutch Baby Pan!
Thanks Mom!!

The day after Boxing Day...typical sunny day off
J and his Banjo with Tosh grazing in the fields

My survivors! the red in the back is from Birthday 2011
The spiny one up front - Christmas 2010 and the green flowery
one Christmas 2009! woohoo!

This summer...

2011-08-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

has mostly included watching Lost and reading Harry Potter....which I am respectively almost done with and recently done with!!

But, more importantly my summer included a much needed visit home to AZ, camping, a visit to Yosemite to see friends and a visit from a an old friend during which time we visited the SD Botanical Gardens!!...

AZ....oooh, I love this boy...

La Jolla Birthday BBQ and Bocce...

Camping at Laguna with Bocce Ball and friends...It was so hot and peaceful there :) Also, my 30th birthday!

Yosemite with friends ...cooking chicken and drinking giant mojitos!

San Diego Quail Botanical Gardens...

Nurturing my Orchid plant that finally bloomed after a year of loving care!!!

Oh yah...and moving....
to this sweet spot...looking down at the 'cottage' from the main house half way down the stairs overlooking Teclote Canyon...

View looking back up at the main house...

View of our front 'porch' the washed out part beyond the trees is the canyon.

Just inside the door....

View from the far corner looking back at front door.

And my new 'sister' Evie :) standing guard.

2011-04-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

2011-04-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

2011-04-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

My recent visit to Arizona to see my nephew and his parents (bro and sis-inlaw) was too short but ever so sweet...

2011-02-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

my fantasy morning on a day off -

the BIG KITCHEN diner breakfast

Jeff likes to draw...

Then, today I got my hair cut...and straightened...

And these are just some of the small more tangible little pleasures of love...

2011-01-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 30th G!!!

NEW YEARS EVE! We spent in part at our new apt. preparing to go out to the Contra Dance nearby - with silly pictures. Good thing since no pics got taken at the actual dance. Oh well. Fun times with family and friends!!!

Then I got a quick visit in with these Australian monkeys!!

can't help it...I love a naked baby...

In Leiu of a Christmas letter I suppose

2010-12-29T09:12:00.000-08:00

I can't say that the last month has been easy. Moving is stressful! But I am so thankful for what and where it has brought me... Maybe this is too personal for my little blog, but I moved in with my boyfriend a month ago despite feeling unhurried to do so...it just worked out that way... the location and price and landlord especially. Moving from my little cottage where I've been cozied up this last year was harder than I imagined. It was the longest I'd been in one home since high school....and i had grown attached. But being in a relationship with and living with J is a blessing and a gift...even with the challenges that go along with such relationships -sharing space, making decisions together, communicating, emotions/stress...and navigating my own struggle with how the decision goes against the values I was raised with regarding marriage, sex and relationships - yet feeling confident that the decision was appropriate for us and that there is Grace for us amidst the complicated nature of ...life and love. Additionally, I'm constantly impressed with J's care and persistence, willingness to learn and grow and love and be loved...and most especially his ability to make me laugh. I'm enjoying sharing a home with him and am eager to allow myself to feel even more settled here. I continue to work at the little deli where I've been since I moved back to San Diego and that is treating me just fine for the time being. Jeff is continuing to build his cabinet refinishing business - soon to be Cabinet Revival. His parents live here in town, so I've gotten the benefit of having family in town to have dinner with occasionally - in fact we got into the habit of heading over there Sundays to have dinner and watch Dexter...oh dear! I'm continuing with school this coming semester after a successful fall semester with chemistry and physiology!! A's all around!! And am so grateful for a month long break from the studying in the meantime! And time to post all these fun pics :) Enjoy...

From newest to oldest...

Christmas Eve at the Sands with our party hats

So glad my parents were able to visit for a week before Christmas!!

Santa actually comes to the Sands!!!

Christmas morning at my place!
Dutch babies and Christmas Vacation movie in our cozy little nest!

Rainy day at the USS Midway with friends and family

Arizona visit with my brother and family...

My awesome parents cooking up a leg of lamb for pre-Thanksgiving dinner!

My adorable nephew

Watching the old west gun fight show in Tombstone

Mom and Sister in Law :)

Me and my sweetie in the Arizona sun

Sunrise dog walk with parents and friends

First night in our new place!!

And an irresistible little video of my little monkey nephew. Sorry it's sideways!

Lately

2010-08-31T11:05:00.000-07:00

Went to Yosemite recently with J and his mom and cousin...squished in this Prius...we fit 4 of us and all tons of our stuff...this pic didn't include the 4th person's stuff even! packed floor to ceiling, literally. I got to put my packing skills to use!! I still got it.
Tuolumne Meadows - sunset

snorkeling...and posing... at the favorite watering hole/jumping rock.

and back in SD - dinner party and sunset in little Italy...

sustainability

2010-07-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm closing in on a year since I moved back to San Diego. It's a bit shocking to me actually. Not just that the time has gone by so fast, but that it has been so full, challenging and good. I'm really enjoying my little cabin, my neighbors (old and new) and my neighborhood. I like, for the most part, living without a car. I get exercise riding my bike to work, on errands and to visit friends...friends who also share their cars with me regularly :), which is a treat every once in a while. I like my new boyfriend a lot and have enjoyed the process this year of being in a place where I have been open and ready for such a relationship. So...we'll see. I took a class in the spring, dropped a class this summer and signed up for a couple classes in the fall. I have managed to keep the job that I landed shortly after I moved here. I have been seeing a therapist weekly since November. I'm paying off my credit card debt slowly but surely. And you know what all this spells... S-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y. ick. strange but true. I'm actually enjoying the feeling of anticipated routines, the freedom of trial and error and trying again, the ebbs and flows of daily life on my own and among others, and knowing that I'll be here a while longer....Really, it's about SUSTAINABILITY...not so much stability. And that sounds good to me.

Summer has yet to come out of hiding this year in San Diego. It teased a bit last week with a couple hot muggy days, but today, it is again gloomy gray. I don't mind so much actually. I'm sure there will be plenty of summer to come. For today, though, I'm staying in, maybe watching a movie (ever heard of Dead Man with Johnny Depp?? me neither), working on some projects, drinking tea...and updating this silly blog.

Recently I had celebrated my birthday with a glowing delicious lemon birthday cake by LK...

a dance party...

and a delicious steak...

provided by this guy...whom I've been hanging out with a lot

Since then, a baseball game with him and his sister and her boyfriend

Going to the Del Mar Fair...aka corn dog heaven and home of fried s'mores and a giant steer....thank god we missed the fried butter

Visited R and her family at the airport

Gelato with G and D in LA...

And some other random events from the summer:

E's graduation from her master's program...

Camping at Mission trails with E and C...

A visit here in SD with my brother and his family :) :) :) cutest nephew ever.

dinner party with some girlfriends in my little cabin...

And now continuing with summer....I'm looking forward to some beach volleyball, more dinner and dance parties, long bike rides, porch sitting, coffee dates and such.

Triathlon

2010-04-11T19:55:00.001-07:00

Finished in 3 hrs 4 minutes. 14th out of 30 in my female age division!! 551 overall (out of 750ish)
Story to come. Gotta sleep now...

Happy Birthday, Dad!!

2010-01-25T23:38:00.000-08:00

I went to the SD airport today to the only TCBY I know of to celebrate my dad's birthday. It is kind of fun actually to go to the airport on no particular schedule or agenda with no bags. Unfortunately the TCBY is in the boring Terminal 2, so there wasn't much people watching to do, and I don't think TCBY is as good as it used to be, sad to say...but it was a fun way to celebrate the memory of my dad - he loved TCBY and we would get it at the airport sometimes :) He would have been...61 this year, maybe? wow. hard to imagine, when he died at a youthful 46...though, really, I imagine he would be just as youthful for a 61 year old, like his sisters are :)
Also, I started my first class today at City College! I'm very excited about it, Biology - a general survey, geared towards those entering a health profession. It seems I've got 2 very good professors with a lot of varied experience who are team-teaching the class! One is more of an environmental biologist, the other a molecular biologist/cancer researcher. I'm thrilled to be there and that it is within biking/walking distance from home. Now, I just have to find the 12 hrs/week they recommend to study! yikes. It feels really good to be starting something long term that I feel excited, motivated, optimistic, hopeful and at peace about...this is new for me. :)

HAIL!

2010-01-22T17:19:00.000-08:00

Today I opted to run outside instead of at the gym knowing there was a chance it would rain... I did not think however that I would get pummeled by buckets and buckets of rain AND hail. Luckily it started when I was on the corner outside a burrito shop. So, I went inside and got a burrito, waited out what seemed would be the worst of it, buried it under my fleece and ran the 6 blocks I had left to get home...jumping the rushing rivers flowing down every street and loving every minute...

my life these days and a few more from New Years

2010-01-19T23:37:00.000-08:00

My friend and I went kayaking in the SD Bay the other day. Highlights were: simply being out on the water and rowing; being asked to clear out of the 'channel' by the Navy Security due to the oncoming 'battle ship' or whatever, which seemed waaay far off still, but who knows maybe we were underestimating its speed and overestimating ours; seeing lots of other cool boats like the one below; watching/hearing the jets and airplanes take off and land at the Coronado Naval base; and hanging out with an old friend who also enjoys being active outdoors.

Some local art outside my workplace...it is just twisted wire inconspicuously attached to sign posts and telephone wires and such aroudn the block where I work...

And...last but not least, my Christmas tree :), with all it's festive glory still lighting my apartment

USS MIDWAY NYE 2010 GALA ...so fun!

And, hiking at Iron Mtn...also fun.

night at the laundromat

2010-01-19T22:42:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to the laundromat. Even though I have a standing offer to do laundry at my landlord's house in his new eco-friendly washing machine, which is about 10 steps out my front door, I like going to the laundromat sometimes. Every time I have gone it seems it has been raining. Which, for San Diego, is actually 3 of the 3 times it has rained since I moved here 4 months ago. I like it because it gets me out in amongst strangers in public (like going to the movies); I actually like doing laundry; and because I actually like waiting...like waiting for and riding a bus or train, waiting in line at the post office, taking my breaks at work. I savor moments of times that are limited in their span but don't allow for much else than people watching or reading short articles or a few pages of a novel or just day dreaming and musing. I love those times. So, the laundromat is ideal for me. This time 'round, last night, I took the opportunity to get pizza down the street at Luigi's AND a Sprite from the vending machine. I sat in my car ('cuz it was rainy and there is nowhere to sit inside the laundromat except the laundry baskets on wheels) and listened to the radio and watched people. I intended to read, but there was a family of 4, including a boy of about 10 and one of about 4 and their parents, I assume. The small boy had the perfect kid-way of being, distracted but attentive to everything. He stuck his hand under the automatic hand-sanitizer dispenser about 10 times in one minute, he climbed in one of the big dryers! After loading their laundry the family disappeared and returned with coffee drinks, or hot chocolate I suppose for the kids, from the 7-11 down the street. There was a man on the bench in front of my car who would periodically check the trash can, for bottles and cans. And two women, both weathered and crippled in some way by life's weariness. The older of the two was particularly hunched, draped in a pink poncho that was sinched at the waste by a belt. Her face distorted and gait more of a shuffle. The younger, with a cain, hobbled inside to use the restroom. The older followed to wait at the door. I'm watching, wondering, making assumptions, judgements and from the parts of me that still carry some compassion, wishing that life were different, easier for these people...that it wasn't so hard on some of us while so easy on the rest of us. And then, with hot chocolate in hand, I see the little boy dart across the sidewalk, in front of my parked car, outside the laundromat to where the older woman waited at the door. He thrust a few dollar bills into her hand and returned running, delighted back to his parents, who were unmoved it seemed, just doing the right thing; doing the right thing by their child...agreeing to the kid's idea to give the strange old woman money or teaching him to be generous and compassionate, thoughtful of others and aware of how close we all are to being so broken by this world, or even by our own choices or mistakes. Since when was it so delightful to give? Even giving at Christmas to loved ones can be kind of a nightmare. And I've been far too jaded in my adult life to be so purely moved to give anyone anything without any strings attached, without wondering first how/why they deserve it or if they'll like it or be offended by the gesture. And I consider myself a pretty compassionate person. Yet, I saw those women there, and the man, and just felt saddened at the possibility that they had to find some place to sleep out of the rain that night, or the discomfort they might feel everyday just trying to walk or the wearisomeness of looking through trash cans to find cans to make a few extra cents to buy a snack or a meal but not moved to act with any compassion or kind gesture. I'm not naive enough not to wonder what got them in this position, but I'm also not naive enough not to also realize that life doesn't just come down to working hard enough or always making the right choices. But I do wish I could be just naive enough to walk up to someone without thinking twice, give them something and skip away delighted - not self satisfied - just delighted. There was something so precious and moving about watching that whole scene play out in front of me. There was no more interaction between them, though the family and the two women were at the laundromat for at least the remainder of my time there. They just continued about their own lives or business of doing laundry or just surviving, I don't know. I just know that surely, even if I can't come to grips with what the point of this whole big thing called life and love is all about, that small act of generosity/thoughtfulness/kindness/love mattered.

2010-01-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

holiday festivities!

2010-01-07T00:02:00.000-08:00

the ZOO!

New Years Eve, Eve at the theater with D.

Friends at a wedding :)

Mom and Step-Uncle in SV for Christmas

My beautiful nephew and the Ecuadorian mariachis I gave him for Christmas :)

shuffle

2009-12-04T21:01:00.000-08:00

well, today in the mail I got an offer for a little iPod shuffle if I sign up for a free trial of some program with my bank for a month ...then cancel before they start charging me for it. So, I went for it! It worked last year for some other silly gadget... So, I can cross that one off my list, I guess.

Dear Santa

2009-12-03T23:45:00.000-08:00

Here's my Christmas wish-list.
It should make up for the last however many years that I haven't had one at all...

digital camera (a simple quality one)
iPod (probably just a small one that I can use while running or in the car)
a really nice expensive little down jacket from Patagonia (you know for these bone-chilling San Diego nights)
new shoes (closed toe ones that I don't care about getting sloppy with mayo and grease)
jeans (you know, ones that actually fit and don't have bleach stains or smell like deli)
a backpack for backpacking...mmm, yes, for when no work again and can actually go backpacking
a comforter (again for these cold winter nights)
new brakes and back wheel for my bike and saddlebags or a back basket for the rack
new tires for the car I'm borrowing and an inside detail/cleaning (it's just dirty)
a car (like Clancy maybe :))
perfume
this
dance lessons

Pathetically sincere,
Leigh

yah, not kidding.
Somehow, I want, I want, I want
it's never been this easy since I was a kid, to come up with such a christmas wish list.
ick.
Don't know what's come over me.
maybe it's the gottahaveitallandnow syndrome that so many suffer from here in SD
who knows.
it's helpful to get it off my chest anyway.
really i'm happy eating food, sleeping, being with friends/family, watching the occasional Office episode or 30 Rock (wow, that show is funny), reading, basking in the sun while exercising... keeping it simple...
day dreaming about my next travel adventure is enough for me
and enjoying right where I am with what I have...
though I do kinda want a camera...and the iPod would be nice...and well, i don't have a nice cozy jacket for when I visit the mountains ..........

where I used to live

2009-12-03T23:13:00.001-08:00

San Diego smells like damp pavement a lot of the time, that or the salty sea. You can see the full moon rising in the east and some dull stars trying to shimmer above, even here, close to the downtown city lights. I can appreciate these things. But, I have to say I am more grateful than I can express here to have had the opportunity to live near and just now visit Yosemite and the surrounding areas in winter, spring, summer and fall. The smell of ...fresh air, crisp and cold in the winter, of burning fireplaces and the warm sun on the lake. The moon rising through the gray trees still speckled with oranges and gold from the fall. The utter coziness of my friends' place where I stayed was so right, so satisfying, so relaxing. It was all so breathtaking and delightful!! I bought a small Christmas tree and a small string of lights to try to convey some sense of season and coziness here in the seasonal void that is San Diego. Sure 70 degree temps year round are in some ways divine, but so are a fire place to warm the home and cut the chill of below 40 temps, cut-yourself Christmas trees strung with hand made ornaments and good friends to enjoy it all with. I miss my friends and life in Bass Lake, but I didn't suffer my usual bout of angst over what I should be doing with my life and where I should move. And I'm glad I know how much it is worth it to make the effort to continue to spend time up there, even though it is good for me to live in San Diego right now. My friends there have and continue to teach me a lot about home (you should see their hand crafted chicken coop, raised bed and hand cut wood piles) and friendship and hospitality and thoroughly enjoying the natural world. It makes my current experience here in San Diego all the more rich now that being outdoors has become irresistible to me. And there is plenty to do here to satisfy. And yet when the pace here gets to be a little too much and I need a little refresher, the train ride up and back to Fresno really isn't so bad. :) Pictures to come...

a little rusty.

2009-11-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

I've been kind of itching to write, which seems usually to spawn some good inspiration. But, I'm not really feeling that wave comin' on. I'll go with the stream of consciousness approach, I guess....My eye itches from the dander of the cat in the home where I spent the last hour watching episodes of The Office with a friend. That and a meal at the Red Sea Restaurant make for a wonderful evening, especially amidst good conversation with an old friend. I'm now here in my cozy home. I can hear the clanking of my neighbor's dishes, the soft hum of the freeway traffic and the incessant chatter of my computer 'working'. I'm tired. But I feel good. I spent the majority of the day riding my bike. I rode 1 hour out to the end of the Pt. Loma peninsula before I went to a meeting on the PLNU campus. The day was perfect for a bike ride, beautiful sunshine, views of the bay and inland mountains. And I cannot get over the fact that travel by bike is so completely accessible to me around this city even for a distance such as that! I LOVE it. I then rode home via Trader Joes, which I also love. I got some tasty masala veggie burgers, salsa verde, sweetened condensed milk (for more pumpkin pie!), spring greens (to supplement my sprounts!) and organic bananas. If I weren't trying to spend most of my grocery dollars at the farmers market and at my work, Grant's Marketplace (which is a local deli/market) I would be spending them at Trader Joes. Though, I have to say I'm quite enjoying the challenge and creativity of buying things that the farmers market has instead of just supplementing other grocery shopping. I can olives, almonds, spices, produce, tamales, fish, flowers, jerky, hot sauce etc! Anything a girl could want! And I can pretty much get the rest at the shop where I work. It's such a good feeling/practice to spend my dollars in a very tangibly-local economy. But, I also really like TJs :) and am happy go there every once in while, even just for some 2 buck chuck ;) Yes, it's still just $2 here!

I also spent a good part of the day with my latest read, Frankenstein. It is the first I've really known of the story. And I am really enjoying it! Sadly the movies don't sound at all like the book, so I don't know that I'll be seeing those. But, I'm finding the book fascinating and moving and actually quite the page turner. After I'm done, I plan to return to Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee...definitely of a different genre all together, but also heart wrenching. I enjoy so much having the time and interest to read a good book. In fact, I think I'm going to head to bed and do just that.

Since last time...

2009-11-01T15:17:00.000-08:00

East Coast in the Fall

Me and my nephew, cute as ever.

Arlington National Cemetery-
The Memorial of the attack on the Pentagon on Sept. 11, 2001

At my dad's grave site, mom and cousin Margaret

Me and Grady, my cousin's cutie pie kiddo.

Biking around the bay!

Visiting Rachel and Kai in SV. I miss you guys!
And Happy Birthday Kai!! It was a year ago this time that I was in Australia for Kai's birth!

Me and Whitney, my cousin, at our cousin's wedding in DC.

My cousin, Kathryn, getting married

East Coast fall

Cousins on my dad's side :)

Kathryn and me, getting ready for her wedding!!

Visiting with Kelli in sunny southern California!

My new favorite treat - cupcakes from Baby Cakes...
I don't have a sweet tooth, but...wow, this requires no sweet tooth. It is delicious.

homey

2009-09-11T23:27:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to get my place a little homier during my time off...here's an update :) The newest addition is that bar piece. It is a perfect extension of my kitchen and a place to eat (with barstools on the other side!)

My first baked pie in my cute little oven! Turned out perfectly!!

View from the kitchen (front door on the right)
View from my bed (kitchen would be just there on the right) front door straight ahead. And that's it! I still need a bookshelf. But otherwise I've pieced together a great little homey space! My favorite purchases so far are a beautiful pie plate and the red lampshade and a bread pan!

a little more...

2009-08-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

the side yard looking towards the street - as B put it, the start of my daily commute - beautiful foliage :)
Out my little kitchen window...

into my little garden patio (that is the kitchen window there in the far back...

A view from my little deck :) You can see downtown a little more to the left of this photo. but, that is the nice blue neighbor house.

This is Pyramid Lake. One of my favorite landmarks on the drive down the 5 from Bass Lake. We hit it right at sunset....

We went on a walk last night in my neighborhood to the BEST pizza place in SD (actually voted that by some bodies). There were people out and about, cleaning cars, walking dogs, partying. There are little markets, a Pupusaria, a Mexican bakery, laundromat, coffee shops, and the Pizzaria. I even ran into a friend in the neighborhood!! I'm pretty excited. My place is also within a blocks of City College, downtown, the harbor, freeway access and many friends.

a little more

2009-08-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

The blue subaru - packed up and loaded down heading for SD.

My new mail box. Please fill. 825 20th

Enjoying a late brunch at Shades after a DELICIOUS DIP IN THE OCEAN, roasted red pepper soup with gouda cheese, pesto couscous salad, new england clam chowder and green salad with pistachios, and strawberries. Mmmm.

2009-08-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

My new place!

what you see is what you get... you can see into the bath room there on the left corner and the kitchen is just to this side of the bathroom. This is taken from in the doorway....

the bathroom...

These days

2009-08-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

It's my last week in Bass Lake, CA. I'm comfortably sitting in the living room, glancing outside, watching the shadows of the trees dance with the breeze. The wind chime is sounding in the background. I'm enjoying the best smoothie I have made to date: 1 delicious fresh orange, 1 banana, a handful or 2 of fresh-frozen blueberries, a handful of fresh-frozen strawberries, 3/4 c-ish of plain yogurt, 1/2 c-ish of almond milk. Chilled, smooth, delicious. AND, my staple, tortilla chips, with my new found favorite bean recipe - Indian Black Eyed Peas (includes cumin, jalapeno, lime juice, ginger, garlic, onion, cilantro...), great addition to a tortilla chip scoop.

My room is messy and mostly packed. I've spent the morning contacting potential employers. Still need to clean and get my car checked out. Though I'm pretty much not interested in last hurrahs for this upcoming move, I have to say this week has been spectacular. I enjoyed 4 days travelling with girlfriends through Yosemite, all over the East side and up to Tahoe enjoying the sweet rockin' bluegrass tunes of The Trespassers in addition to swimming holes, hot springs, dancing, snacking, singing, exploring and driving. Also the Taylor Creek Stream Profile was really cool. And thanks to the willingness of a young forest service employee we actually got to see it, since we got there right after it allegedly closed! Definitely worth seeing if you are in the So. Tahoe area. I've also had a lovely evening out with the ladies in celebration of C's birthday - we went to the Wawona hotel, ate ourselves silly on delicious desserts and entertained ourselves with the 2nd annual viewing of Mama Mia!

I'm leaving in two days for San Diego. I'm moving into my very own place, a little studio with hard wood floors, high ceilings, a tiny bathroom minus a sink!, an old gas stove, a small front porch. I couldn't be happier with my soon to be new home, though I've never actually seen it... my friends' recommendations and descriptions have been convincing enough. I'll share pictures once I get there. Mostly, I am going to miss the mountains, the stars, my friends, the common shared interest in being active and outdoors...but I'm know San Diego has lots to offer by way of music, outdoors, and friends too.

Here's some pics of recent days:

Total badasses, Sarah and Bronco, rocking out:
Playing at mt. tallac brewing in So. Lake Tahoe at the first annual Bluegrass Festival there

The balls area, Ansel Adams Wilderness. Got to go on a one day course as a co-instructor for Summit. Lots of good memories in this area...
Me and JB after K's wedding, drive-by view of Yosemite on the way to the airport. Thanks for coming JB!!
Yosemite Valley at sunrise...

Road trip back from Tahoe, with Dusty the dog, B and C. :) Fun times in the subaru...

Classic yosemite valley tunnel view shot. mid-day.

Ladies night at Wawona Hotel

Happy Birthday, C!!

more wedding week magic...

2009-08-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

dinner at The Red Sea, my favorite! for Kelly's pre-wedding girl party!

mouthwatering.

and the gift-giving/song-singing/treat-eating continuation...

the Wedding Party

and the day-after party...

Sister Love!

2009-08-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

Pre-wedding adventures....

at the Art Museum in San Diego after viewing the Richard Avedon Photography exhibit -
that's his famous Bob Dylan pic on the background banner

on the deck at Kelly and Brian's new place

marking a special moment with Ester and the train station...

Commemorating another special moment...Kelly's surprise bachelorette party at Miguels with the old housemates :)

making flower bouquets for Kelly's wedding.
A colliding of my kansas city, point loma, mid-city and bass lake worlds!!...

can't get enough...

2009-08-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

of those cheeks...

of those thighs...

of that smile...

of that face!
Love you baby Seth!!

BABY SETH

2009-07-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'll just say this...for a 5 month old, he is so vocal and happy and adorable. The pictures speak for themselves, but I wish I could include his sweet little voice...squealing and cooing.

He fell asleep in his jumper...

Lisa, this is for you....my grandma in my uncle's garden in Breckenridge

This was the little neighbor girl at my old house. They would come over and play in our sprinklers and dance around.

My friend from DR Congo, from back in my days in Kenya, visiting in Colorado Springs. We hadn't seen each other in 8 years!

Pretty things....and more.

2009-05-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

wedding flower arrangements that I get to help make and set up in Yosemite
this is what we did today

www.sweetpickinsflorist.com

delicious food that I make and eat with my housemates

recently featuring grilled corn on the cob

and fresh mozzarella, tomatoes and basil

And...

spontaneous dance parties at home
inspired mostly by the Gnarls Barkley station on Pandora.com
though we also got groovin' to some michael jackson, old-school will smith and whitney houston

And this is how I spent my afternoon and evening...

2009-05-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

Bathing in the sun
Drinking a Corona
Reading The Omnivore's Dilemma
Eating chips and salsa
Jogging by the lake
Doing yoga
Listening to This American Life = laughing and crying
Uploading beautiful pictures
Cooking curried chickpeas and coconut rice
and Eating it up
Sitting on my deck - watching and listening to the birds
A view from my back porch: (no neighbors in front, behind or to one side - just the birds)

Talking to a good friend on the phone
Watching The Office
Writing letters

and Enjoying the flowers I get to bring home and arrange:
Check out the sprout of petals coming out of the middle of that gerb!

This is where I spent my morning...

2009-05-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

Does it do it any justice at all??

PS - none of these photos were edited, in case you were wondering ;)

Just fascinating...

2009-05-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

Male Sea Horse giving birth
Another shorter video

And Spinner...this is what came up for 'Sea Stallion'

Some recent highlights

2009-05-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

Johnson-Kaufmann wedding
The most glamorous bride!

Kelli, Erica and me - Bridesmaids.Me and little Saully Crum-my date for the wedding :D

Probably one of the best wedding weekends ever.
(pictures courtesy of Kelli Noftle/facebook)

Big Sur drive and camping with my parents
(pictures coming soon)

Monterey Bay Aquarium, which includes:
leafy sea dragons
sea horses - did you know the females implant the male with their eggs and the males give birth!
Jelly fish of all sizes - as in huge basketball size to the size of a dime
Giant octopus - though I wish it would have moved more - they really can squish into a hole the size of a quarter!
and anemones in the actual bay - yah, all over the rocks! It was cool to see stuff in the real world

Lewis Creek hike here in Bass Lake - the waterfall is gorgeous from all the snowmelt

Rainy days at the flower shop

Homemade tacos 2 nights in a row - fried corn tortillas, cilantro, tapatillo, fresh onion etc.

And a new one of my nephew - he's 2 months old now!

savour this.

2009-04-11T10:47:00.001-07:00

I'm enjoying a leisurely Saturday morning in my new house. It would be perfect, but that my feet, fingers and nose are icy cold. Yes, I'm inside! There are some houses in this world, two of which I have now lived in, that are depressingly poorly insulated. This is one. The other was the house on 41st St. in SD...cold and dark is how I remember that one. At least there is good light in here...though it is probably only 54 in here, I think is what the thing shows...probably warmer outside! But, it's cloudy and gloomy out there, which makes it less appealing to open up the doors and windows to let the 'sun' in. And obviously to turn the heat on is SO inefficient that it's not worth it for a few hours of coziness. ...I'll be baking later today, so that should help :) I'm making the Deep Dark Secrets Chocolate Cheesecake from the old food blog - Savour This. My friend made it recently for another friends wedding... to die for. So, I'm making it for our decadent dessert Easter celebration. mmmmm.

I've been busy since I got back to Bass Lake. There are lots of weddings now. Last week we worked on 5! And there's a day in May when we have 8!! It's been really fun though getting to do more design work with the arrangements and bouquets etc. I'm really enjoying it actually. And there is something amazingly stabilizing about having some routine - get up, do some exercise, drink tea, have breakfast, go to work, read/homework, home, dinner, relax ....and so on. Weekends I have to explore. Nights free to hang out with friends, or rest in my own bedroom. It's given me such peace. So much so that I've decided not to decide anything...but to just let my life be as it is for now...and I'm here and I'm working at the flower shop and I'm in school. Don't know what is on the horizon, but that's okay. I'm enjoying my new living situation too. My housemates are a lot of fun and have made me feel very welcome.

Last Sunday I enjoyed the beautiful weather by hiking up at Lewis Creek - a beautiful creek bed about 5 miles from where I live - gorgeous spots for picnicking and swimming when it gets warmer and exploring. Then later I went with G to go climbing...he wanted to check out a new spot - so I came ready to try it out, but they ended up being a lot harder than he anticipated and I got a good work out belaying for him. Another beautiful spot in a granite-slab filled creek bed. Lots of poison oak to look out for though! And then later...I went canoeing!! It was SO beautiful. K and I went out around some of the little coves and enjoying the still peaceful waters (before all the big boats arrive for summer). I LOVED getting out there. And have been once more since - though it was much chillier as this week brought remnants of winter cold, wind and rain (and snow in the mountains!).

I've been enjoying the pleasures of good music on good old pandora. I like that it plays a particular genre base on what you want/feel and then I get to learn about new bands and stuff.
I'm in the market for a swim suit for upcoming summer adventures and exercise. I'd love to not buy something at some big box store. But, I'm a little hesitant to buy something off of Etsy (a great place for unique gifts and handmade things) since you can't return it...though with measurements they'll custom make it for you... Any other suggestions ? :)

settling in

2009-03-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

I ended up meeting with a midwife in Albuquerque last week. It turned out to be very motivating and encouraging. She seems very capable and also willing to take me on as an apprentice. I was also offered a very cheap (and most likely pleasant) living arrangement. The only catch is that this midwife charges $300 to apprentice with her and I would not be able to work to afford that cost. My decision remains as to whether I stay in Bass Lake to continue working at the little flower shop for a while longer and try to save money or go ahead and move in June and see what happens in Albuquerque with a job or the midwife. I was reminded by someone recently how these decisions and options are a problem (a luxury) that America seems to generate...maybe even more so in our generation. I'm not sure what to say about that, except that as difficult as I experience these decisions, either way, I'll eat, sleep, laugh...survive.

To celebrate the coming of Spring I went on a beautiful hike in the Sandia mountains on the east side of Albuquerque (also very close to where I might live) - enjoyed good company, delicious breezes, an expansive view and sunset. I realized while reflecting on those few days in Albuquerque that in my life recently..."what was missing was the world of the present, where everybody was living its small, short, surprising, miserable, wonderful, blessed, damaged only life." (another from W. Berry) Maybe what is wearing me out in recent months/years is that in connecting with so many people in so many places I have begun losing my sense of the 'present' - connectedness with a place and its people and the refining of love and life that comes with time in that place and with those people...trying to accomplish this across so much time and space has left my heart/mind/soul feeling scattered and thin. I don't regret the choices I've made in my life up to now by any means, but it's time to try something new... some people call it 'settling down'...I need to think of it in different terms...maybe this - one last tidbit out of Jayber Crow, "It was impossible to hurry there, so I settled myself into patience."

Otherwise lost.

2009-03-19T10:33:00.001-07:00

Bloomington.
I got to spend one long gorgeous sunny weekend biking around town, drinking good local beers, making and eating delicious food and laughing and talking with some friends that I know from my time at Summit Adventure. We took advantage of a $2 showing of the movie Milk in the Indiana University Student Union. I'm glad I finally saw the movie. It is a really well done movie and moving story. I loved going everywhere on the bicycle. Thanks Kate, Dustin, Curt and Ben for making the weekend so magical.

Kansas City.
My friend Laurie got married last weekend so I spent a week in KC helping prepare and enjoying some memorable moments with friends. It's easy to forget how beautiful the KC spring time is...winter cold and summer heat quickly over shadow it...but, it was a gorgeous week. We played in the park, rode bikes, ate delicious food including the best BBQ in town at Oklahoma Joes where there is usually a line out the door. Mmmm. The wedding was beautiful and successful. And I'm glad I got to spend such good time with my friends there.

Albuquerque.
Now I'm in Albuquerque. Intention is to feel it out for a possible relocation here. It's familiar in that it is the southwest...similar vibe as my southern Arizona 'home'...different from Southern California for example. But, I've not been successful at setting up visits with people or places here - like midwives or birth centers. So, I'm just kinda here...trying to imagine life here, hanging out with Bryce. Blogging. Homeworking.

for Kelly.

2009-03-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

In the desert the temperatures have been in the 80's and low 90's lately. There are also cool plants like this one out front of my brother's Tucson home...an agave, I believe...it is has grown many feet in the days that I have been staying there!

And of course spending time with my nephew, Seth :) :)

Grandma and Grandpa - still not sure on nicknames.

Seth is 9 days old here!! Isn't he beautiful?

only 1 day old here! Just insisting on getting cuter and cuter.

My brother says Seth has my chin :) ?

In other news...I spent the weekend visiting friends in San Diego, road tripping out there with a good friend of mine from high school. Of course, I have no pictures to show for it. But, it was a beautiful weekend on the beach, in the sun, spending time with good friends and eating good food in one of my favorite places. Though, being around my brother and sister-in-law and nephew and parents more definitely draws me to this place here in Southern Arizona. And I absolutely love the horizons...the vistas...the sierra vistas :) For those of you who don't speak Spanish... that's mountain vistas ;)

SETH JOSEPH NOTTINGHAM

2009-02-22T14:58:00.000-08:00

I have been busy familiarizing my new nephew with my face and presence the last 24 hours :) He was born yesterday, February 21, 2009 at 3:54pm here in Tucson. He weighed 7lbs 14oz at birth and was 20.5inches :) And he's really really cute and sweet...precious and beautiful. He is named after my dad who died December 1, 1996. It's amazing and strange to call him by that name, since I have always associated the name Seth with my dad, even though this is at least the 3rd baby to be named after my dad. He was a good man :) I'll post more pictures of the cute little baby when I get a chance. Until then....

Proud Mama, my sister-in-law, Marika

Proud Papa, my brother, Tim

Me and Grandma

He really could not be any cuter!

SNOW!!!!

2009-02-10T17:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I woke up to a phone call from my best friend (what a treat!) ...as I sneaked out of my room to avoid waking my sleeping neighbors, I caught a glimmer of something bright and sparkly through the crack in the window covering...I ran to the door in anticipation of what I had only imagined up until that moment. Snow at Summit!!! A beautiful thick blanket of cold glistening white covering everything...

It is one of the perks of being here in the off-season. The sun was rising just as I was enjoying the first sights of this winter wonderland.

While this made for a spectacular display of sparkling light, it might that within the hour it was snowing again...not from the bright blue sky but from the branches and eves.

This made for a messy driveway however...which became an icy driveway as night fell. It took us 3 tries and a few fishtails to get up it in the truck! But, success proved my better than average driving skills ;) thanks to Mike and Kelli hopping in the bed to weigh down the back.

I walked two miles to meet my boss for a ride this morning. It was a beautiful day and I got a glimpse of the lake not long after sunrise, still adorned in winter magic.

This weekend I went to Yosemite...

2009-02-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

Needless to say, it was breathtakingly beautiful. This picture hardly does the beauty justice. This is the classic view after coming out of the tunnel.

I went up with a friend to see The Trespassers bluegrass band and enjoy Yosemite in the winter. From the whispy clouds low in the valley that moonlit Friday night and the snow illuminated by bright blue sky sunlight to the high energy wailin' bluegrass giving me chills and inspiring me to dance, I had an amazing mini-vacation up in Valley high on cloud 9! I had forgotten just how much I love listening to such great live music and dancing. Nothing compares to that high...and I was riding it all weekend!! 3 Trespassers shows in 24 hours, waking up to Glacier Point towering high above me outside the sweet accommodations I got to enjoy with the band (granted it poses very serious risk for rock fall over the new employee housing such as the one that happened last October!) Though I still am quite smitten with the band as much as any other swooning fan, I did get the opportunity to hang out 'backstage' and at the 'after' or 'morning after party' with everyone...they are more interesting, sweet and enjoyable human beings than I could have imagined...One of them is working on building his home out of tires and cans and runs his truck on veggie oil! They have a new CD coming out later this year!!
This is Sarah, the fiddle player in the band, and my sweet friend here in Bass Lake. :)

a lesson in 'greening'

2009-02-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks for your guess, Graham! And thanks for reading my blog, you all :)
The answer is...9!!! 9 jobs in the last 5 years...plus this new one = 10.

Today I learned how to prep a flower arrangement by 'greening' it - placing greens like ferns, eucalyptus, etc. to give the arrangement some shape and direction for the designer to then fill in with flowers. It is a creative process...creating a shape with lines and texture and colors. And the two ladies I work for/with both told me that I had an eye for design!! And that I'd have no problem doing arrangements one of these days :) Today I was just greening some arrangements for a wedding show this weekend. But, I'm sure I'll get a chance to help with some actual weddings too as that is the bulk of their business.
Here's an example of the 'greening' process...although, what I did was way prettier and with cooler stuff. :)

At long last!

2009-02-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

I got a job!!
Check it out...
http://www.sweetpickinsflorist.com/index.htm
The woman I will be working for is super eager to have me join her at work. I start tomorrow. She is going to teach me arranging and design, so I'm not just cleaning and delivering! One of my first tasks will be to help her build an arch out of manzanita branches, drill holes in it and put silk forsythia flowers in the holes to fill out the arch in yellow. The picture I saw looked really pretty.
Forsythia:

And she's willing to take me even though I'll be leaving in 2 weeks for a month. There are lots of weddings starting up in April and May. Plus, she lives here in Bass Lake, which means I might be able to get a ride in and out of town with her some days when I don't have a ride otherwise! I'm so grateful and relieved...it came at just the right time.

Also, I'm applying for food stamps and possibly the county medical services. It is a lengthy application, which I should have known from my days as a social worker. There is a lot of paper work to keep track of! My employment history for the last 5 years, for example... Any guesses how many jobs I've had over the last 5 years? (counting duplicates each time)
I'm so curious to meet with the eligibility worker and see what it's like to be in the system...and find out what I can buy with food stamps. My best friend, Kelly, reminded me that those benefits are there for those that need them...so, why not?!

Eerie

2009-01-29T08:09:00.001-08:00

So, this morning, just like many mornings recently, I woke, stepped out of my room into the large main living area and checked the fire. And as usual it was down to some large embers. I stoked it, got some flames going and added a couple logs. I noticed a tiny little spider on the bottom of one of the logs I had placed. I decided not to think twice about it and closed the door. I left it to heat the kettle for tea. When I returned to check the fire, I opened it up and was disturbed by a faint but very audible squealing sound coming from within the fireplace. Now, I know it was probably just something in or on the wood, but I could not help but imagine tiny little spiders squealing for the lives. I closed it back up and let it burn, hoping that the sound would dissipate. After I got my toast and tea and checked it again. They were still squealing. Very eerie. Almost heart wrenching. I figure my weird imagination on this point could be attributed to the book I'm reading: The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It is dark and eerie. But, I have a hard time putting it down for its beautiful poetry and the hope that something good will come...though at the same time sure that non could nor will. Anyway, I like tending the fire and drinking my tea every morning, but I could do without the squealing spiders.

Microbiology and Me

2009-01-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

So, I've been studying microbiology this month...learning all about the little unseen life that cause infections and disease in our bodies. And am starting a class in Infection Prevention...to learn about all the reasons and ways to protect ourselves and our clients from passing on infections to each other...everything from the common cold to HIV. I have never considered myself a germ-o-phobic, nor even slightly obsessive about germs and I'm generally pretty healthy. And so it did not occur to me until last night at church how this more intimate knowledge of the presence and livelihoods of little microbes might affect my lifestyle and choices. When everyone was welcome at the end of the service to break bread and dip it in the cup, one of after the other, all I could think about were people's hands all over the bread we were expected to eat...I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, but for the prayer requests earlier for healing from the illnesses that seem to be going 'round and 'round the community including some of those present and participating. Maybe the Holy Eucharist is somehow veiled from the germs of the hands that touch it...but, I could not bring myself to partake.

http://www.health24.com/medical/Condition_centres/777-792-811-1701,16576.asp

Badger Pass

2009-01-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

I went snow shoeing yesterday up at Badger Pass (the road to Glacier Point up in Yosemite). It was a hard work out. But, it was a beautiful day...T-shirt weather. These pictures are on the way to Dewey Point...which I never reached, just didn't leave myself enough time. But, the journey half way there was worth the effort :)

Back in Bass Lake

2009-01-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

I'm here at Summit, back in Bass Lake, cozy by the fire, which would be lovely, but for the smoke that has been slowly leaking out of the chimney for the last few hours filling the airspace in the 'living room' here. It must just be the makeshift piece that is trying to block the chimney from all the smoke. Ick. It's a little too chilly to be outside, or I might opt for that instead of inhaling this mess. I'm sure we'll get it all fixed up soon. Crazily enough, though, come 11am or so, the temp outside should be a balmy 70 degrees! It's been incredibly warm here since I got back. Summer weather! I met the students that I'll be staying with here. They seem easy enough to get along with and I bet we might even have some fun these next few weeks. There are 2 students, I think 18 and 20. It is strange how young that seems...or how far away those early days in college seem. I'll be responsible for driving them to town for errands and service projects and church and hanging out with them for dinner etc. I've realized since meeting them, how little practice I've had at interacting with new people, especially if they're not my peers, or something. So, I'm happy for a change like that...though it will only be for a month!

Other things I'm looking forward to:
Spending more time with my friends here in the off-season
Being responsible for just my own food (at least for 2 meals a day) It's been a while!!
Exploring the lake that has been drained for the winter
The next snow (IF it nows again!) and possibly skiing in it :)
Making a decision about the next phase in my life
Running again in this area
Being cozy by the fireplace :)

Oh, and a couple more pics from my brother's skilled hand:

From the Butterfly Garden in Tucson where he and my mom go every year

Timothy and his wife Marika

Timothy and my mom

In the baby room at my brother's house
A picture of my dad as a baby, my soon to be nephew's namesake :) He's due February 18!!

Tucson

2009-01-12T21:14:00.000-08:00

San Xavier del Bac Mission

Lighting a candle for our dad

my tribute to the holidays

2009-01-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I can't say that I didn't get out of Portland without a little bit of trouble. But, I made it to Denver, miraculously with no delays. In order to find out if my 6am flight would be canceled I had to stay up past midnight, so it was the actual day of my flight and see what the website(s) posted. Surprisingly it was 'on-time'. Because of the treacherous road conditions, I had decided to take the MAX, Portland's public transportation system, to the airport. And not knowing how often it was running over night I decided to go right away since everyone was still awake and that would me leave me plenty of time for whatever chaos I might find at the airport. I was dropped off just in time to catch the train at about 1am, made it to the airport at about 2:15am and found this:

People sleeping EVERYWHERE! I walked around until I found what seemed to be last spot available to curl up that was out of the way and not on cold tile floor. I laid out my blanket, snuggled up and got a little shut eye...a little being the operative word...in between two people stretched out across some lounge chairs snoring and a rotating rack of souveniers. At least I didn't have to pick a spot in that line to sleep in...I had no bag to check...

At the last minute the night before I went to get my backpack out of the volvo that hadn't moved in 3 days, only to discover that we couldnt' find the key anywhere! It was 10pm, and leaving in a few hours as I was planning on doing left me no time to call AAA in the middle of the night in such terrible conditions to rescue my burdensome baggage out of the car. So, with a change of clothes, my toothbrush, fleece sleepingbag liner, travel pillow and computer already in hand, I decided to leave Portland without it and deal with it later... or have someone in Portland deal with it later, I guess. At the time it turned out to be my salvation at the airport though. If I had needed to check that bag, I would have had to wait in a line 400 people long...a line that was waiting for a counter that wasn't opening until 4am...for a 6am flight...I wouldn't have made it. Not to mention the relief of not having to lug it around for the next 18 hours as I caught bus after bus to get from Denver to Colorado Springs.

I have to give a little shout out to the nice man named Jay who generously offered to pay for my bus fares, saving me a total of $20, which was an incredible gift... he probably has no idea just how helpful that was! I gave him some directions in line in the Denver airport when I discovered we were headed the same way and was in a similar predicament of needing to get to Colorado Springs for a reasonable price during the holidays. He told me he would stick with me. When I stopped to make sure I had the cash to pay for the cash-only fares he took pity on me and my pathetic wad of money and told me he would cover my fare...as a Christmas present...and 'cuz he was just happy to have some company. Fortunately he turned out to be a nice man, not bothersome or chatty or creepy and even let me use his phone to call for a ride when we arrived at a very deserted Park and Ride location under the freeway overpass in Coloraodo Springs. I mean there was a port-o-potty and a bench, but no pay phone, no shelter, no signage and it was 25 degrees. So, I wrapped myself in my fleece blanket and waited on the corner for sights of my grandparents. Soon enough they came to my rescue...but only once I chased them down a block and a half away after they passed right by the parking lot where I was waiting!

I have always said that I love being a part of the Christmas holiday travel chaos...until I admitted to myself the day before I was supposed to leave that I really actually had a very slim chance of making it to Colorado by Christmas. I realized I had never actually been cancelled on or delayed so much by an airline that I wouldn't get where I was hoping to go on time. I was really sad. Though I had wonderful friends there in Portland that welcomed me to join them for Christmas, I was fully looking forward to Christmas with my family. And thankfully I made it some how. The northwest has gotten SO much snow, I don't know if it has thawed yet! Luckily, I have gotten the best of both worlds, a beautiful experience enjoying a winter wonderland and the warm blue skies of Colorado Springs. It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful the days can be here. And it has been really fun to be with my mom's side of the family. We've gotten into playing dominoes and cooking dinner together, rather than just letting my amazing cook of a grandma slave away. It's been fun and very family-esque.

Here's a pic of the infamous tree at my granparent's house and my grandpa, Ahpa. Apparently and sadly this is the last year for the tree. I have always counted on this tree as it is usually the only source of Christmas decoration in my life...so hopefully by this time next year I will actually have a place of my own for my own tree and decorations! I know I know...don't hold your breath.

Chains Required

2008-12-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

As fun and beautiful as this is, I have to admit I am a little sad to not be able to go anywhere and visit some other friends here at the moment, seeing as we don't have chains for our dear Surely (the volvo) and due to the conditions and lack of road care here in Portland, chains are required out there. Everything has more or less been shut down the entire week, like since last Sunday. School has been out all week for the kiddos, Kelly was off work all week etc. I'm a little concerned about my flight. Although the weather is supposed to be slightly warmer Tuesday...like 33 instead of 29, Tuesday is the ONLY day in the next 10 days in Denver that they are expecting snow! And with DIA's track record I'm pretty much counting on delays. Though, secretly I love being a part of the holiday travel chaos.

So, anyway, in between episodes of Scrubs and trying to figure out what book to read after finishing The River Why, I'm enjoying my beautiful surroundings near my friend's apartment. Here's some pictures to prove it...

Notice the nest!! There are robins that seem to like this pretty little tree.

The snow was layered with a sheet of ice. Below it inches of powdery snow. I don't think it would even stick together to make a snowman though. But it was nice and crunchy to walk in!

This is near where I'm staying. I mean, I can't really see what the big deal is.
PS. that is supposed to be the main road around here

backwards through time

2008-12-17T12:13:00.000-08:00

5 minutes ago outside Kelly's apartment in the snow!!

2 weeks ago at the Tillamook Forest Burn Center on their cool suspension bridge

me and my bff and my bff's bf

Ashby at the Tillamook Cheese Factory - we were trying to figure out what they do with the scrap/end pieces that they cut off the baby loafs. They sell 'em for cheaper. Cool Factory.

that same day 2 weeks ago near Cape Mieras on the Oregon Coast

heading down to Eugene for the Tirrill family Thanksgiving in 'Surely'

Cassie showing me her newly revamped skills on the guitar

Sunny San Diego
Lisa and Aaaron and their dog Jackson (on lap), Marley (black and white paw under the seat) and their friend's pretty retreiver.

Arriving back to the concrete jungle we call Los Angeles a month ago today.
A bigger than life poster advertising our Hollywood rendition of 'Australia', the land down under from where I had just returned.

What I've Learned From Bell Ringing

2008-12-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I apparently survived 23 degree bell ringing weather.

Survival tactic:

Take people up on any offer of hot beverage no matter how much caffeine you've had
Keep feet off concrete as much as possible
Wrap wool blanket around waist/legs over wool coat and 4 other layers
Sport UGGs

Some things I've learned from bell ringing:

Men and women give about equally - yes I counted in my head during two different shifts. My shifts are 3-9pm. Women usually get ahead first but men catch up after 6pm and then they remain about equal. The first night I counted I had about 160 total givers. The second...closer to 200 I think.
Some people think the Salvation Army kettle is actually a wishing well... for example: mom gives 5 year old daughter a dime to put in; girl comes over reaches up to put the dime in, holds it above the slot and exclaims with all earnestness "I wish for a Hannah Montana guitar for Christmas!" or this one from a middle age woman: "I have the hiccups and a dollar (pulls out dollar puts it in the kettel) this is my hiccup wish".
Kids are cute when they are faced with money management decisions...and really not so different than their parents, just cuter: kid with 2 quarters comes up, puts one in and holds the other one up looks at me and says "I'm going to keep this one so we can go somewhere". Another one: Parents give their little boy a few coins to put in he's smiling walking towards me but then starts to walk past me, parents get his attention telling him to put the coins in the bucket. The kid looks at me with his coins, "No, thanks" and continues on towards the soda machine. Really, how is this any different from the man who walks by, opens his wallet and pulls out a dollar shoving the other ones and fives and tens back inside; or the woman who walks past and comes out later with a cart full or even just a bag full. The only difference is kids just say it..."Um, no thanks"..."Um, I'm going to save this one so I can go some where...or get a treat". Let's just be honest, huh? The kids are just being prudent with their cash.

I'm no better or worse than anyone else....we're all just human beings. Here's my confession - it's easy to judge people, especially as you watch them come in and out of the store, give or not give, fat or skinny, rich or poor. My sometimes lazy mind falls prey to this as I'm bell ringing for hours on end. But, on one of my first nights, during my break, I was waiting at customer service to turn in my kettle. An older man asks me something. I respond. He asks what I'll do on my break. "Drink tea, sit down", I say. He says, "This might sound crazy, but would you buy an old man a cup of coffee? I promise to amuse you. I've been out in the woods...." I'm already responding "No, I don't have any cash....(lie) ..." I don't even remember what I said but for the weak apology as I turned to the customer service attendant who was ready to take my kettle. "Take care", I said as I walked away immediately appalled and disappointed at my lack of compassion, openness, honesty, willingness to buy this man a simple cup of coffee and a few minutes of my time. I was tired; wanted simply to sit, check out, put my feet up and drink my tea. And who wouldn't after 3 hours of standing in the cold, engaging the public as people give or don't give, look at you or ignore you, say something nice or something confusing or rude. I realized in that moment of weakness that I am just like all those people who walk by me and my kettle, we are all at times lost in self pity, too exhausted to care, too far away in our thoughts to notice, confused, sad, angry, hurt or totally distracted with elation; and in better moments self aware, open, observant, sensitive and compassionate...just like all those people who have bought me hot drinks or smiled warmly and thanked me or the tiny boy who gave me a hug after I let him ring the bell. We are all complex and vulnerable human beings capable of amazing feats of love and compassion if also willing to receive Love that is given to us...

*thanks to kelly for editing and everyone's favorite medical sit-com 'Scrubs' for my new skills in narrating my own life and providing some much needed comic relief on these long winter days.

a brief word on thanksgiving.

2008-12-03T11:32:00.001-08:00

I realize it has been a while. I'm tempted to steal pictures from Rachel's blog to show your more amazing pictures of their baby, but sadly that is not part of my day to day anymore. In fact I'm in Oregon now. I've avoided posting because I want to include pictures, but all my pictures are on my computer and my computer is without power because my power cord was left in the land down under. Until I gain access to them again, I will just write a few lonely pictureless words here...

Thanksgiving at the Tirrills - Jack's money giveaway, lesson in generosity. Kelly's dad hid $5 bills around the house that we were all unleashed to find after dinner. We each person who found money had to come up with a plan to giveaway the money before the night was through...some ideas that were shared: coworkers with foster kids, grandkids getting out of rehab, the animal shelter, supporting a child through Compassion etc. It was such a great game, especially as it involved 4 generations running around Luwayne's house ransacking cupboards, frames, rugs, drawers... without breaking anything and then seeing each other dig deep into our compassionate centers to find how we wanted to share this extra cash. And Kelly's cousin shared a little extra on the history of Thanksgiving, which I admit I hardly remembered, so it was a good refresher on the generosity of the Native Americans when the old Pilgrims made their way to America.

all baby all the time and more

2008-11-10T03:02:00.000-08:00

Kai's Birthday Party!

I have to brag here about my friends, Rachel and Mark. Whom, as you may have already read about, are new parents of Kai. We've been home now with the new baby since Friday. We tried Kai in my room the first night - I would bring him to his mom when he got fussy and ready to feed. But, since then they've kept him in their room, finding it more simple to just respond immediately with him in their room. Rachel and Kai are doing great at breastfeeding. Mark is incredibly supportive and loving. It is beautiful to sit back and watch. She is ceaseless in her learning - searching for answers for natural healing remedies or about how to wrap her little bub in her moby wrap. If you want to see a good birth video, she's more than willing to share her own on DVD. Don't know if it'll make it to you tube, but it's a worthwhile viewing if you ever get the chance. She did so beautifully. Or check out Orgasmic Birth, which we watched for inspiration and empowerment the night before Rachel went into labor. It is definitely worth checking out too!

Kai's first bath :)

If you want the story firsthand from Rachel herself or more pictures check out their blog.
Here's my story:
When I woke up last Tuesday morning around 9 am, Rachel said to me "Just so you know, I think I'm in labor, Kim (their chiropractor/friend/videographer) is coming over". She'd been laboring on her own for 3 hours and continued to do so with Mark until about 11 at which time it got much more intense. We had considered going for a walk, and although she managed to get her hair and makeup done in between contractions, she was ready to go to the hospital by then instead. We made the 5 or so minute drive downtown with Rachel enduring 2 contractions. She was amazing, focused, breathing, vocalizing the pain... Not 5 minutes after she arrived into her birthing suite, her water broke with a startling pop! making the way for Kai to arrive less than an hour later. She finished out her labor leaning over the edge of the bed allowing Kai to slowly make his way into his daddy's arms. It was peaceful and amazing. She kept commenting how she couldn't believe (but was glad) labor was over! Kai was placed on his mama's chest, and about 45 minutes later, slowly but surely, he made his way to her breast all on his own and found a perfect latch. They stayed for 3 nights in the hospital, settling into their new relationship, working out the feeding rhythms, sleeping intermittently and sifting through the less than desirable hospital food for the good bits.

Rachel is still hopeful about going to the Grampians this week to see the countryside! We're going to try to go to Melbourne Wednesday. And although she's trying to make sure to rest and do her postpartum exercises, I have no doubt we will have some more non-newborn related adventures this week! In the meantime I'm trying to keep up with the housework, make a few extra meals for the freezer and help out with the nappie changing. Their friends have been bringing meals everyday though! So, I've also gotten to sneak in a few good cuddles in between. Kai is an amazing cuddler. So deliciously soft and sweet. It feels so indulgent to get so much baby therapy! He's beautiful and it's just amazing to imagine the young man he will become. Look at that sweet face!He is so lucky to have such attentive and loving parents. And I am so lucky to have had the priviledge of being a part of their experience of becoming new parents. I have learned so much from just observing.

One word: calendula - Amazing healing, soothing properties for postpartum mom and baby! Rachel's reading me information about nappie rash and natural remedies, this very moment.

Some other treats worth mentioning:

Vegan/raw Chocolate Mousse made out of....you'll have to see for yourself. It is mmmhmAZING.

Watching the Bledisloe Cup-Rugby Union match-Aus Wallabies v NZ All Blacks. (no, just on TV) and learning the difference between Rugby Union and Rugby league. Union is WAY better.

Swimming and sitting in the hot tub regularly at the gym :)

Giving Kai his second bath:

BABY!!

2008-11-04T05:27:00.001-08:00

Kai Maddox Colvin
8lb 6oz ~ 20.9in
1:08pm November 4

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2008-11-01T02:40:00.000-07:00

Rachel and I bought masks in town and wore them around while we did our errands on Halloween, which is not celebrated much here in Australia. We got a some inquisitive looks and a few good smiles!!

We carved a couple little pumpkins, ate some sweet treats, tried out our scariest masked faces...but we only ever got one trick or treater!

and then I did a little trick or treating myself...also known as speed dating! Turned out to be more of a trick than a treat though...sorry no pictures, but I definitely had some good laughs. At first us women (I went with a few of Rachel's friends) seemed to outnumber the men by far, but by the time the 'dating' got under way the numbers had evened out somehow. Now, I can't say that I was actually anticipating meeting a compatible date much less a soul mate. And I didn't. But, you never know, right? We had 5 minutes with each of about 12 men who were anywhere from 24-45 years old, to 'get to know each other' and decide whether we were interested in further dates. It was suggested to me by a good friend that I ask my 'date' what he would do with his life if money wasn't an issue. This turned out to be great for conversation and maybe an inspiration to some of these guys! I got answers like acting, owning a music shop, air force pilot, motor bike racer etc. It was fun to see their faces light up at the thought of doing what they love to do. It was this question in fact that inspired me to go to Montana the first time and indulge in my love of cooking, hospitality and the outdoors. I also met a guy who I was surprised to discover goes salsa dancing every week - he has long curly hair, wears a motorcycle jacket, spray paints semi-trucks for a living, and lives alone with his cat - I would've never guessed. This was the only part of my dating experience that sparked further interest because they have salsa dancing at that same venue that this guy goes to every week. But, other than a few laughs, some awkward moments and hopefully a little inspiration, it was a lost cause... Or, maybe I'll finally pursue my dream of learning some sweet moves on the dance floor!

PUT-PUT GOLF!!!

To welcome November and enjoy a gorgeous sunny day, we miniature golfing! And what is miniature golf without a giant statue of an Australian gold miner? It must have been 10 years ago that I last did this. It brought back sweet memories of going in Colorado with my family as a kid. Lesson learned today, as Mark (a man who owns his own clubs and won today's match nonetheless) pointed out: putput golf does not reward skill.

The 18th hole

I was disappointed that the final hole didn't disappear our balls into a bottomless tunnel when we sank 'em. We had to retrieve it and return it ourselves just like all the other holes. Boring.

Love how Rachel's belly looks so big and round like the golf ball there.

Mark also won for craziest pose as the wanted 'MAD DOG'

MT. BUNINYONG

A view down across the tops of the Eucalyptus trees into Ballarat countryside. We saw another koala there on top of that mountain! They are hard to spot because they don't move much (but for travelling just 4 minutes each day!) so they look like any other large knot in the tree branch.

I won myself a cupcake and coffee for spotting the little guy. In fact if you can spot him in this picture there to the left with Rachel and her friend Leah and baby Mackenzie...well, you will also win a prize. HINT: he's in the trees.

and another self portrait with those silly shades

a little more down under

2008-10-26T03:29:00.000-07:00

Rachel, Mark and I went camping along the Great Ocean Road and to admire the sandstone sculptures in the ocean - the 12 Apostles. It was spectacular. I admit I imagined Australia as a dry, desolate landscape throughout. In fact they are experiencing something like a 13 year drought. But, the hills and valleys and rain forests we saw today were lush and beautifully green. And some of the coastal views of the shore line reminiscent of northern California and the Big Sur areas. I am embarrassed also to admit that we were among the first to quickly pull over like any old silly tourist in a national park in the states, nearly blocking the road and causing major collisions, just to gawk at and snap pictures of some wild animals, namely some koalas and their young... OOooh, but was it cool! And how could we resist the babies! Anyway, we had a great time camping (fire, marshmallows and all), enjoying the fresh ocean breeze, some tasty fish n'chips and a brisk quick dip in the south ocean. Yes, Rachel, at 39 weeks, had a great time camping too!! Enjoy the photos :)

Lilies we picked from the side of the road!

flowers in our hair

2008-10-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

For Rachel's baby shower we wore flowers in our hair and had a tea party at the park near their house. We adorned her with necklaces and gifts and blessings.
She's a lovely woman and friend and a hippie at heart, I love it.
I'm so excited to be around to meet Kai and to share in her initiation into motherhood.

On their porch overlooking Ballarat and a beautiful sunset that you can't see in this picture. This is during one of their many dinner parties. They love having people over. In fact I'm becoming more of game player - lost bad at Scrabble last night; gave Train Across Europe a good go last week; tonight...Settlers. Bring it on.

Rachel has been getting progressively more uncomfortable as the baby gets closer to being ready to meet us all. She's always got some task or chore on her infinite to-do lists, so I'm happy to be here to help and hopefully allow her rest more. We've got big plans though to go camping on the coast this weekend, maybe get all decked out and go to the horse races next week in Melbourne...we'll see.

Ballarat Wild Animal Park

2008-10-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

Today Rachel took me to the local wild animal park.
Total furry animal baby cuteness.

baby-roo and baby Kai

feeding the kangaroos!

a joey jumping back in its mothers pouch
so weird looking

mr. wombat.

mama and joey

Mama koala and her baby

a deadly Australian snake

Southern (hemisphere) Hospitality

2008-10-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a full week of studying and baby preparation and settling into my temporary home here in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia. I admit, I am watching The Simpsons (ahh, it's so rare!) at the moment. But, yesterday my blog update got deleted! Urgh!! So, here I am trying again, distracted as I may be...
Rachel and Mark and little Kai (still in utero) are wonderful and tireless hosts. I've already met many of their delightful friends and am enjoying their beautiful view over the western horizon in this small town where they're only 5 minutes from everything and a stroll down the hill to the park. The weather is still a bit chilly, which was unfortunate on our day at the beach in Torquay (about an hour south from here). We just admired the surf and walked a local art fair before heading home. But, it's amazing to be here to anticipate summer...and the birth of their first baby! Rachel is beautifully 38+ weeks pregnant - due in about 2 weeks, so we suppose she could go any day now. It is really exciting to be a part of the preparations with hope that I'll get to be there for the delivery and to cuddle the little guy afterwards. It is really great to get some hands on experience to go along with all the book work I'm doing. Plus, Mark, in compliance for his new chiropractor job, is also studing for his Masters in Pediatrics and is already well educated in the sciences. So, along with Rachel's near mastery of everything pregnancy and birth I am learning a lot to say the least.

Just prior to coming to Australia, I spent a week in Fiji. I enjoyed my stay with a family I contacted through couchsurfers. It gave me a glimpse into the average family's life there. I also got to visit the southern coast for a couple days enjoying the blazing heat and endless ocean while relaxing in the hammocks on the beach. Here are a few pictures from my visit to Fiji:

I think this just speaks for itself.....

here I am...no idea how fried I was becoming!

swinging through the jungle on a natural vine! that he just cut then and there!

The Coral Coast

mixing the kava drink (ground kasava root mixed with water)

where we lounged and ate together each day

My hosts, Save and Nani

and their sweet little boys

back to school

2008-08-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

I wonder what the back to school specials are for On-line learning!?

I'm in! I have officially been accepted to the Aviva Institute's Certificate of Midwifery program. And in 3 years or less I will hopefully be a Certified Professional Midwife!! I've been anticipating this day for 3 years now!! I am really really excited. And have already talked to them about my interests and dreams of being able to be in attendance at friends' labors and deliveries no matter where they live, and hopes of learning and living in various places around the world... or just settling down for a while... either way... I'm doin' it. I'm totally doin' it.

2008-08-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a while.
I've never been eager to go through a remodelling of my home. But, I am currently enduring just that. Summit base is a massive mess of destructed reconstruction and cement dust. It's terrible...but somehow bearable because of what we expect to be the finished product. I already have new countertops in my kitchen and the entire floor of the main room will soon be completely redone with some cement/epoxy finish. It is exciting. But, never can I imagine initiating such a project myself. The operation of the kitchen takes place outside these days...as in I'm cooking on Coleman 2 burner stoves...for 12 people. The island is at a 45 degree angle, the refrigerator is pulled away from the wall and blocks the freezer. I have an unsettling feeling that it will never be finished...maybe because our construction staff is half or less after just one week of work...

I spent last weekend in Yosemite seeing the sights with a few friends from so. cal. The smokey fires crept up on us as we drove back home. Ash was falling on us as we waited at the Crane Flats gas station waiting for Clancey to cool down and restart. Visibility was poor, air quality was horrid. But, we had such a fun time. I hurt my back again somehow sleeping on the rocky ground one night. After a frustrating week hunched over and sore, I finally went to see the chiropractor Friday to straighten me out. It helped.

A friend told me this week that he and another friend were talking about me recently. They were discussing the fact that it is an emotional roller coaster to be around me when I'm cooking... one minute happy and laughing, the next stressed out and pissed... well, I certainly couldn't argue with 'em. It's just the nature of the job, I guess... the saying should be 'curses like a cook' not a sailor. hehehe.

I have spent 90% of my mental energy in the last month trying to decide what to do with the next few months of my life and how. And I've finally got it all figured out. Planes, trains and automobiles...and credit cards. And hopefully a kayak and some snorkeling goggles...in Fiji. Also, I am being given the great honor of attending the birth of my best friend's first baby...in Australia. I will go to some friends' wedding and hang out with my grandparents. I will road trip with my mom and hang out with my brother and sister-in-law and their little bun in the oven! I will help send off my friends in San Diego take a train from Tucson to Fresno. And I'll be 'wintering', as they say, here in Southern Yosemite trying to replenish my bank account. Also, I should be finding out this week whether I'll be starting midwifery school this fall or not.

I am not sure still after all this deliberation, what is the wisest determining factor in all this decision making... what makes you feel most alive? Am I listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit? (how?) Do I feel it my gut? What will challenge me and perpetuates community? What is community? ...

Staff Snow Training

2008-07-21T15:09:00.001-07:00

Well, I can't say that I was the first to sign up for the staff snow training this year. In fact, I was the last. Undecided as usual until the last minute. Even as we loaded into the van that morning to leave, I wasn't sure if I was up for the challenge - not only of glacier travel but of being around people for 3 days straight. I was just feeling the need for some serious alone time...the snow travel I was actually kind of excited about.

After a 3 hour drive through Yosemite we arrived at Saddlbag Lake, scrounged together some cash for snacks, treats and bug repellent and headed out for the hour hike around the lake. It was a beautiful walk skirting Saddlebag and Greenstone Lakes, just past which we set up camp. After lunch we made our way to the nearby snow field to learn the basics of self arresting, self belaying, cramp-on and ice axe use and the different types of steps that are most effective in the snow and ice. We learned how to travel on rope temas and how to safely descend on foot, ass or rope. It was really fun and I was surprised how comfortable I felt - plunge stepping, sliding, turning over to stop myself with my axe, feet or knees, rapelling off the snow! French step - kicking little shelves for each step sideways into the mountainside; Italian - kicking toes straight into the snow, creating more of a staircase up. I felt ready for the challenge the next day held - ascending the glacier on Mt. Conness - some 50 degree angles, maybe steeper maybe icier. I was definitely nervous not knowing what to expect, but excited to get a chance to give it a try.

We woke the next morning in time to leave camp by about 7am. the hike took us up through some beautiful grassy creek beds and up past a cascading waterfall. As we rounded the corner above the waterfall, Conness appeared. The reality of what I was about to get myself into began to set in. The snow reached high towards the ridge that led to the summit and poured down to meet us at the rocky moraine. It was my first timetrying out cramp-ons. The distance we were about to traverse just to the base of the couloir (snow shoot) seemed infinite. I watched as Leslie, Joel and Graham disappeared in the distance to set up a fixed line for us to climb the snow more safely. This entails one of the climbing without anchors to set up the anchors along the way.

The traverse, downhill side on my right, was not too steep and it was fun to get a feel for how effective the crampons are. Their teeth bit into the hard snow hungrily with every step. It was amazing. But, I couldn't help but to replay over and over in my mind what I would do should I slip. A nice distraction was the immense beauty of the glacial lakes below, bright turquoise blue against the white snow...not to mention the other mountains that ame into view the higher and higher we got.

Once we reached teh base of this snow shoot, Leslie had already set up the first pitch (mabye 100 feet above us) just to the left of a bergschrund (the uppermost crevasse that is formed on a glacier when some of the snow/ice begins to separate from the snow above it). I admit, I was already feeling extraordinarliy wracked with nervous adrenaline as I watched the first couple of people attach themselves to the rope and start climbing - step, step, place the axe move the knot along the rope (the friction knot that catches you should you slip). When it was my turn, I felt ready to tackle it - adrenaline and axe in hand. It wasn't too much steeper than the traverse. I just stepped into the already carved out steps where I could shove my toes into the mountain side and let my cramp ons work their magic. Don't get me wrong, it was stressful and I was pretty tense, but I made it to the first anchor, thrilled! to say the least. I remember commenting to Leslie how that was something I never imagined I'd be doing. What she should have said, though I am sure she didn't know either, was - 'just wait! you have no idea!'. But, she was encouraging and proud of me for coming as far as I had.

Indeed, I had no idea what freak-out-curse-inducing intensity was in store for me. I suddenly felt so uncoordinated as I fixed myself to the rope once again - how to wield the axe, move the knot and my feet safely and effectively...all the while my mind/body is on the verge of a major breakdown. We climbed to the left of a snow bridge, really steep adn a bit icy - to a ledge that we had to step up onto...with the toe spikes of my crampons. I was out of mind freaked out - in what they call here, the twilight zone - as I reached that point, having make a high step, digging my toes into the snow above, thrust my axe in overhead, grasp the rope and step up, putting all my weight onto that seemingly weak-ass ledge...that step, those 2-4 crampon teeth a couple inches of axe embedded into the snow. It was unreal...being able to climb snow like that at that angle.I knew if I fell that that it would only be a couple of inches - that there was everythign in place to keep me safe. I think it was the thought of having to get resituated and try again at any given point had I fallen, that really stressed me out. I had a moment after that about 5 feet from the top of that second pitch where I could no longer contain all that had welled up inside. I creid nearly causing me to hyperventilate - terrified breaths at 11,000 feet. I knew I was almost there and I knew that I would make it. But, I was in the throws of the very core meaning of overwhelmedness. It felt like the scariest or most intense thing I'd ever done or place I'd ever been. I got myself calmed down, unnoticed, and made the last few steps secure on my rear end near the second anchor, stressed and beligerent as ever. Elspie, Joel, Brittany and Graham were there to welcome me with sensitivity and encouragement. I just sat there stunned...knowing it wasn't over, trying with all my might to set my fears aside and evjoy the moments, let the intensity pass and just go for it.

The start of the next and final section proved to be as harrowing as what I'd just been through, if not more...this time on gravel covered ice. I put my axe aside and had to rely solely on the toe grips of each step up the icy gravel, reaching around the corner of the boulder we were sitting below desperate for some deeper footing, for solid level ground. After the gravel, it was just a hundred feet of steps - snowy staircase using the pick of my axe to grip the ice, trying to stand more upright per Dustin's and Brittany's suggestions. It seemed eternal, but at least a little more steady...keep your heels low, trust and focus on the steps, hold onto the rope as much as you need to... It was intoxicating making those final steps to the top of the snow, stepping onto the level ground...

The views were unbearable - mountains of all shapes and colors of the earth - valleys, lakes and meadows, blue sky and distant clouds in every direction beautiful. The final climb to the summit was a fun rock scramble over large boulders, at times with plummeting drop offs on either side of a 5 foot wide rock. I don't quite have adequate words to really express what it felt like to climb snow like that, to see Yosemite and the Ansel Adams Wilderness (even into Nevada) from 12,000 feet... and to try to relive it here...

The way down was simply exhausting. It was long and beautiful and exhausting. It ended up being a 12 hour, at the end of which I crashed pretty hard - not enough calories to make up for all that I'd burned and the food I did try to eat when I got back to camp didn't agree with me - so I threw it up and went straight to bed...

It was one of the most memorable, fun, beautiful, thrilling educational experiences of my life. I was and am really grateful for the work that the leaders here put into being able to offer such opportunities to us and many others.

One interesting thing I realized, is how ready I am to begin expending this kind of energy challenging myself to become more skilled as a midwife...not just in these outdoor adventure, which are challenges I've been after for a long time...now, maybe it's time to really get to know my midwife-self.

Go For It

2008-06-23T22:21:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon I took off for the course area to join the Go For It course up in the Balls. They are a group of participants with mental or physical impairments that Summit takes out for a 4 day course every year. They are such a delightful and affectionate and endearing group of people. I spent the afternoon and overnight hanging out, listening to the chatter and the laughter, watching these folks take care of and enjoy each other's company. Saturday I helped with the rappel....that's right, the rappel... The instructor team set up a rappel for these 5 participants - some with Downs Syndrome, CP and one in a wheel chair with little use of his legs. The instructors set up an anchor and belay system that allowed everyone (including the guy in a wheel chair to rappel!) It was amazing to watch him go over the edge of a rock in a wheel chair and hear him (unseen) squeal and scream in delight and fear! It was so fun....the most perfect beautiful way to spend a day off. And what generous energy and heart these instructors have for caring for these dear people in all their daily basic needs... pooping in the wilderness for example...not so simple...I saw them go through about a ton of latex gloves... But, I loved the affection they showed to each other though... pillow talk in their sleeping bags, hand and shoulder massages at the drop of a hat, silly games. If only we would all care and love on each other as freely, I think we'd all get a better sense of how much we are loved...

across the lake... and back

2008-06-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

I went swimming in the lake last night...as I've been doing a lot lately. It's usually just a quick dip and cold bike ride home. I got in and started swimming towards the buoy and I just couldn't stop...I just kept staring across at the other shore and swimming. The sky was orange and purple as the sunset behind the fires. I kept swimming. I couldn't help but imagine the 'what ifs'...what if I got tired or got a cramp, what will I do when I reach the other shore?...but I never did tire or panic. It was an amazing experience... I thought a lot about death, actually...the helpless approach to death's door... the vastness of space and time surrounding us and the fact that all we can do is keep going... towards the other shore...when I got there I stood there for a little while pretty awed at the distance, the crossing over, the dusk...wondering if I could (or should even try to) make it back or if I should walk into the night back around to where I started-cold, alone and well...wet. So, after a couple moments there by the shore I just started swimming again. It was an incredible sensation...of hope, I guess...that I would make it. Comforted by the few boats still out and the belief in my ability...

It's my birthday on Wednesday. I'll be turning 27...one giant step into adulthood is what it feels like and so I hear from other 27 year olds. My aunt reminded me recently about how my dad became a Christian (due in part to the event of my birth) and the 'blessed assurance' she has of seeing my dad again in heaven...because they both follow(ed) Christ. No matter how you look at it, my birth was a pretty powerful experience for my dad and I think a strong connection between us remains because of it...either way, I believe I'll be with my dad again...until then, through the sadness and tragedy the inevitably of death brings, the risk that it is to love...I keep going...swimming...but, not alone.

weeks gone by

2008-06-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Orientation week here at Summit a couple weeks ago with all our staff was a whirlwind of laughing, learning, lingering, playing and sharing...uh, and working. We spent a few days here at Base getting a feel for each other and Summit life, pulling gear and food, calling on the presence of the Divine to be among us and preparing for a few day up in the Balls-our course area, about an hour's drive up the mountain. We then spent the next 3 days, climbing, rappelling and adventuring whilst continuing to work through what it means to be a community and to love each other in the summer Summit environment. We were using Jean Vanier's book From Brokenness to Community to frame our discussions for the week and catch a vision for our summer. There were some really sweet times getting to know one another in our brokenness that wouldn't necessarily have otherwise happened. It's a good way to approach living in community.
The adventure race this year was over night! We started out at about 7pm for a night of orienteering, rappelling, bushwacking, river crossing and moon/star gazing in the meadows. It was a beautiful night, despite the mosquitos, and we finished in close second. At the finish was a blazing fire, ready to make bagel melts and plenty of time to sleep...as we waited for the third group who didn't roll in until 6am after an unfortunate wrong turn on an unmarked road. It was a really fun experience and just beautiful to be out in the wilds of night with such a great group of folks and amidst such beautiful scenery. I most loved the silence, lying on the granite after a harrowing night rappel, waiting for my teammates at the bottom, admiring the silhouettes of trees and the glowing midnight blue and stars. We finished the week with a commissioning service. Fulltime staff, base staff and instructor staff spent time coming up with a statement to speak/pray over one other group. Ours, that the full time staff came up with, included the scriptures about love....it is patient, kind, does not envy or keep account of wrong. This struck me deeply as it is something I hope to pursue sincerely in my day to day life here...

Since orientation it has been a roller coaster of courses getting organized, planned, going out and coming in. Base filling up and emptying. Busy slow, quiet, chaos. I've enjoyed the momentum, but I'm reaching my end... at least for a couple days. There have been a lot of mouths to feed. Probably my favorite moments have been learning a beautiful new method of cooking stir fry and my shared birthday party (Bryce's was last week too). The cakes and treats at the party were a decadent display of love and chocolate. It was lovely and fun. (Thanks, everyone!) The stir fry... I realized I am in the habit of always using onions, cooking them first and cooking the rest of the veggies way too long. The peanut sauce we used was unbelievable too. One of the best meals I've had/helped make in a long time. (Thanks, Graham!)

Also, since orientation, I've been jumping in the lake or creek every day or night. It's been an amazing refreshing beautiful way to get a little time alone and time in the water. I love it...it was one of few regrets, that I didn't do it more often last summer...The full moon swim was one of the best.

Pictures!!

2008-06-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

From my trip a few weeks ago with Brian up to Yosemite and Mariposa grove...Enjoy!!

Bridalveil falls, cathedrals and the merced river...

This is me and Brian and Yosemite falls
(see those sweet glasses Brian is sporting? I found 'em on the side of the road up there!!)

Old grizzly giant sequoia

get a load of that granite!!! - it's even better by moonlight

me and yosemite falls

Follow up on the bread...

2008-06-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

The french bread I made last week... turned out GREAT! only that I forgot that french bread is usually (and in this case) a long skinny loaf... not what I was imagining for french toast! So... we had french toast nuggets :) It was really nice bread though. Apparently refrigerating dough helps bring out the flavors better.

NATIONALS!!!!!

2008-06-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

"Congratulations on your team's recent success at the USARA adventure race national qualifier in which you competed. As one of the top teams in the nation your team has qualified to attend the 2008 GoLite USARA Adventure Race National Championship to be held in Blue Ridge, Georgia. On the weekend of November 7-9 you can go head to head with other nationally ranked teams in the country for a chance to be crowned the 2008 GoLite USARA Adventure Race National Champions. The weekend promises to be a spectacular event set in the challenging terrain of blindingly beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains."

My adventure race team, Team Torti, from this last race that I did in KC in April, qualified for the nationals!!!!!! Unbelievable!!! I just have to decide if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm still trying to decide about travel plans in the fall... but this might be hard to pass up! I'm shocked and delighted!!! Thanks for bringing me my shoes and singing me songs in the moonlight, friends from the 816, including Tim :) ... I can't believe it!!!
Fletcher has already come up with a really sweet logo for our team! And is working on sponsors!!
http://www.usaranationals.com/home.aspx

Music and Bread

2008-06-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

The new folks around here are musicians. In the other room I've been hearing worship music.. and now Puff the Magic Dragon... a fiddle, guitars, a djembe... quite lovely really.

The new instructors returned today from their training course, all rosy-cheeked and happy. I had prepared for them a feast of BBQ beef, baked beans, pasta salad, watermelon, salad and brownies. What a treat to offer something so satisfying to people. I really love preparing meals for people. So, base is clean and buzzing with people. After so many nights of quiet semi-solitude here it's a little overwhelming getting into the jive of all this new energy. But, I have a feeling it's going to be really positive.

I watched Drakmar last night. It is a film made by a couple guys I knew by association at Point Loma. Delightful and remarkable film about a teenager in San Diego and his passion for dragons and the Adrian empire (those crazy folks who get into medieval character) and his struggle with the absence of his father. He's a remarkable kid and it was a really heartwarming and good movie. Watch it.

Brian came to visit last weekend! I was waiting to post about his visit until he sent me pictures, but he hasn't yet... it was such a nice time. We drove up to Yosemite to view the majesty of the full waterfall effect in early summer. And we went to marvel at the enormity of the giant sequoias in Mariposa Grove, just this side of Yosemite. Then we made lasagna together and chatted with our friend Kelly :). It was a really nice time. Thanks Brian, for coming my way!

I'm making french bread for the first time tonight... I'm a little nervous, but trying to send positive energy into the dough. I'm hoping to make french toast in the morning with it... we'll see. I've had a lot of great food successes lately, which makes me hopeful about this one, but when a bread recipe has like 8 steps... you never know...

Summer Time

2008-05-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

I went climbing today!! I climbed three fairly easy routes, but it was good to get refreshed on the granite. Lots of good friction, slab climbing... rather than crack... learning the lingo...It was fun anyway, rather than the usual nerve wracking, tear jerking experience I'm used to. I enjoyed it and look forward to challenging myself more and more this summer. It was a beyond beautiful day here. Warm in the sun; cool in the shade.

Now: a little bluegrass, dark chocolate, sushi, seven and seven with Leslie and a chat with my brother - a delightfully relaxing evening.

I realize it's easy to get into a slump here.. Surprisingly. I get into work mode really easily...and stay there... cooking/cleaning/caretaking. It's what I like to do, but it means that I don't take time off like I maybe should. So, this weekend 'away' at Leslie's tree house has been enjoyable. She only lives about 5 miles away, but when I'm at Summit (like being in your own home) there's always something to do!! So, it's nice to take a break.

vignettes

2008-05-27T16:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I trapped a millipede under a tin can in my kitchen. Colin agreed later to remove it for me. "SICK!!"

I called the guy back about this VOLVO I'm interested in buying...rather than being a hard ass and starting the negotiating process right then and there, I told him I'm hoping to get into town one of these days to talk with him in person because I don't like talking on the phone...and that I can't really afford it...blah blah blah... I am NO good at bullshitting.

We just barely missed the rain on our walk to the post office this morning. Across the lake, the clouds sitting on Goat mountain gave the appearance of threatening snow - gray and cold. It is still raining!!

Last night I spent a little while in the peaceful home of one of my friend's here. She gave me a much needed massage. I've gotten very tense this last week or so chopping onions and worrying too much about pleasing everyone....decided I needed to take on more of 'the kitchen bitch' persona and just not care what people want or think! :)

I just noticed a book here in the office by Ann Zwinger. She is an author for whom my grandma (E.G. aka Timilou aka Charlotte) has helped form and edit many manuscripts over the years. I am so proud! And to feel the world shrink like that... I've seen her books in my grandma's house all these years and now my grandma's effort and wisdom is acknowledged right here in this beautiful book about my backyard (Yosemite, in case you didn't know, is basically my backyard).

*sorry for the excessive use of curse words - they were the only phrases that seemed to fit.

rain

2008-05-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

I was awakened last night to what sounded like thunder... come to realize it was rain pouring down off the roof and pooling in the garden. I've been sleeping on the porch... a little less exposed than down in the yard on the decks especially when there aren't many people around to take on the wild life... and just as cozy.

As gray and cloudy as its been here, the rain really freshens things up...greener green, wetter wet. But it is unseasonably chilly!! Brrrrr.....

life...family...food...rain

2008-05-24T20:21:00.001-07:00

Speaking of wild and precious...
it rained all day and I got to legitimately wear my ugg boots for the first time in over a year!
...I ran for the first time in a while the other day - a trail I thought was only 2 miles, come to find out it was 4!!! A cool trail that follows an old logging flume.
...all the new instructors are here now, so it's a full house. There were 11 people in the kitchen tonight filling up on leftovers. One of the most satisfying things for me about cooking is seeing leftovers finished off. I got rid of about 5 containers tonight.
...I helped pick out a couch today for our instructor lounge - green/yellow/orangish stripes...loud. It's a sleeper couch. I'm pretty fond of it.
...my brother and sister-in-law moved into their new house yesterday - first time home buyers. They are so excited. I can't wait to visit them.
...my friend Kate just went back home today after a 2 week visit here with her husband (who works full time for Summit and will stay here this summer). They moved back hom near her family and are helping to care for her father while he fights cancer for the second time...
...my best friend's baby is due Nov. 9th...in Australia...it costs $2000 to fly there and back............

Wild and Precious

2008-05-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Mary Oliver
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed,
how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Source: from The Summer Day

Find Focus As You Attract Opportunity

2008-05-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

It smells like rain. The temperature has dropped 20 degrees or more in the last 3 days. Yay for a little more spring!

The title of this blog is taken from the monthly thoughts in my journal that frame the month - this one seems eerily appropriate. As have most of them so far this year, actually...

Already opportunities seem to be knocking at my door since I've arrived here at Bass Lake - midwife apprenticeship, hypnotherapy, massage, jury duty, water safety, book club... not to mention cooking like crazy. Upon my arrival to Fresno a couple weeks ago I was picked up by the husband of our new bookkeeper. He happens to be a no longer practicing MD (disillusioned with the healthcare system and lack of patient/doctor time) and a hypnotherapist! I was thrilled to chat about alternative medicines with someone who also has the knowledge and experience of working as a family practice doctor for many years and sees the value of holistic healing. I shared with him my interest in learning more about hypnotherapy and my pursuit of midwifery. THEN he offered a new duplicate copy of an anatomy atlas that he had recently received!! beautiful.
Since then I've learned of a local midwife who is losing her apprentice soon, another friend of some friends who is currently pursuing doula certification and another local midwife who trained in a program in the Philippines that I had once looked into.

Also, I came here interested in offering massages to my coworkers once a week as a way for me to get practice at it while offering some healing and relaxation during hard work of the summer. And I've discovered that a friend here is pursuing massage school with interest in having a retreat home/massage business for missionaries on furlow or anyone who may need it.

THEN, I got jury summons. Thanks to my convoluted mess of recent addresses, I am known to Madera county to be a resident and have been called to jury duty on the second day of our staff orientation... excuse number 5: lack of transportation!! woohoo, no car, no can do!! hopefully they accept.

During staff orientation I've been asked to collaborate ideas for what might be pertinent water safety information for our staff while working with people up in the high mountain lakes and near rivers :) It'll be fun to get to use some of my other interests/skills here!

And last but certainly not least... I've found lots of inspiration in having to offer devotionals for the kids on our course last week and in thinking and talking with friends here about this summer. It was good to dive right into being in an instructor role, facilitating discussion about gratitude, hospitality and the Kingdom of God even though I'm out of practice and not always sure of my convictions. I'm learning through these experiences of being in leadership roles, even as a swim instructor, how okay it is to risk making mistakes if you give it your best effort and offer yourself sincerely and keep trying. I'm getting better at cooking, for example :) Made the best damn pie of my life last night.

I've also been thinking about love...mostly about how I'm tempted to make relationships work to my advantage and how desperately I want to keep trying to learn to love without thinking of how I might gain from it... to love people for who they are, love people by happily being myself, love because to do so is healing and freeing to everyone involved.

A wise and perceptive friend recently told me that I can't keep (subconsciously) expecting other people to tell me or show me how to be myself. Maybe this doesn't make sense to you, but it made all the sense in the world to me...I'm always looking to other people, thinking...maybe that's who i want to be, maybe I'm like that person, maybe that's what I should say/do/think...

I'm excited about an opportunity to read Nonviolent Communication with a friend here. I'm not sure all of what the book holds, but even the glimpse I've seen of learning how to identify and name emotions so not to wallow in them but be free of their control sounds like something I could benefit from trying. We're also going to be reading Jean Vanier's From Brokenness to Community for our orientation. I feel strongly this is a season of deep healing growth and being freed from destructive thought habits, bitterness and self-doubt. Some lofty ambitions, but it's time.

So hopefully I'll find some focus for all these opportunities that seem to be falling on my lap... well, I'd rather just avoid the jury duty, though.

on recent days and beauty

2008-05-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

I love waking up to the sun, sleeping outside. Even in the full moon light, sleep comes better than most other places I've tried.

Moon light on the granite mountains in Yosemite is heart break chest clutch breath taking. I'd never been in the valley at night. Those meadows encircled by towering moonlit granite and water falls...

And Bass Lake never looked so inviting on these hot mosquito-y days. I'm enjoying being here, though I haven't had much time to savor it all yet. We were planning and working a course most of this last week, which was fun and really good but busy. Now, I've finally put my things away, made some head way on my to-do list and put a small dent in the 50 lbs of carrots we were given, by making 4 pans of carrot cake, which are, at the moment awaiting icing. And, we're almost done painting the bathrooms, albeit not my favorite color blue, it looks refreshed. Even better was being surprised by a newly painted sage green kitchen when folks welcomed me back this summer. It's beautiful. Come see. :)

I've got high ambitions for making granola, bread and tortillas in addition to regular meals this summer. I've got literally 100 lbs of onions that I need to chop and freeze or let rot. (another donation) and buckets of beans. Come eat! :)

tornado sirens

2008-05-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

What would you do if you heard tornado sirens?

A. continue what you're doing
B. run to the basement
C. turn on the television
D. call a loved one
E. all of the above
F. other

Guess what I did...

That's right, I turned on the television. I mean, better to know what's really going on than take those silly sirens at 'face' value, you know? Especially for one so inexperienced as I with tornadoes. I thought about going to the basement, but it seems scarier down there... like a tornado already hit it. I did call Kelly to tell her... and my mom... and well yes, I did continue what I was doing...baking cookies.

Fortunately the track of the tornadoes were slightly to the south and traveling north east and to the north traveling east...avoiding the city center. But for some heavy rain and thunder the storm didn't have much to say for itself... until later. I was awoken at 2am by the howling of the wind through my open window... frighteningly strong and flashing skies. I closed the window, tiptoed out of my room to peer out the back... Laurie peeked out of her room. We turned on the computer :) to discover we were being hit head on by a squall ...a wall of storm that stretched long past the borders of Jackson county to the north and the south. The sky flashed and thundered with lightening almost like a disco dance. It was intense. Like no other storm I remember... except the time when lightening struck a light pole outside my bedroom window across the street in Texas when was in middle school...
Piercing adrenaline rushes in the middle of the night!! Glad I didn't leave the midwest without a good tornado warning and a squall wall to write about.

it never ends

2008-05-04T22:04:00.001-07:00

Do you like the new look? it's one of those times in life where a lot is changing, so I thought my blog site should be included in the changes. Also, if you'll notice a link there on the side. It is to the blog my current (almost previous) housemate and I have started, in order to continue to share in our delight of food experiences and recipe sharing. We've enjoyed sharing meals so much together that we decided to continue to do so on the blogspot.

But for a few stragglers, I've got my life's possessions contained to 4, less than 50# duffles/suitcases and 2 carry-ons. The bigger items I'm now parting with are my djembe drum, my sewing machine and my bike... not that these 'hobbies' are no longer of interest to me, but that I may need to share resources back at Summit for now and maybe get myself a new bike, who knows...some would argue that my bike should be left in the dust, but I'm kind of fond of my turquoise beauty. Fortunately, she's at least going to get a lot of action from the girls here in KC.

I finished up my East Coast trip with a visit to Funkstown, MD, Gettysburg, PA, W. Virginia and Waynesburg, PA. One of the more interesting and educational elements was my visit to Harper's Ferry (MD/WV/VA). It is the spot where the Potomac and the Shenendoah Rivers meet (if I'm not mistaken). It is the place where John Brown attempted a slave uprising against the slave owners by raiding the US government's arsenal and revolting...the event which, although seemingly a failure, some argue sparked what soon became the Civil War. It was also the place where Meriwether Lewis got his supplies made and organized for his exploration across the western frontier. It was such a beautiful, lush spot so rich with history. Also, in case I hadn't told you, I am a distant relative of Meriwether Lewis on my mom's side and my grandma, to this day, prefers to call me Leigh Meriwether instead of Leigh Anne.

I also had a really nice visit with Angie and Ken in Maryland. We had Ken's specialty, crabcakes and Angie's specialty, pancit and a couple icy cold Guinesses to wash it all down. I encountered such amazing hospitality and such a variety of lifestyles and relationship dynamics and daily routines and habits in my friends and family. I also utilized a wide variety of transportation - plane, train, bus, boat, foot...I missed out on the bicycle and the donkey... though I did see some donkeys at the livestock auction in Waynesburg with my friend Melodie. The same place that I got an asparagus root for my roommates to plant in their garden...to grow asparagus! You can't beat a $2 souvenir for 4 people!! :) I had such a fun time hanging out with those guys, Melodie, Milton and JB in their smalltown home in the country.

And finally, the roadtrip home... JB and I left PA in the evening, drove 7 hours to pick up Kelly at the airport, drove 2 more hours to stay the night at my cousin's house and meet their new baby!! (Grady and Kelly) What a delightful morning we spent with them and what a gorgeous little boy! Later that morning we continued with an 8 hour drive back to Kansas City in time to greet our friend, Brian, (Brian and I eating twinkies!) at the airport, who has just arrived back from a two year stint in Congo. We enjoyed the weekend with JB before he returned to PA. (JB and his girlz) And I have since been packing up, wrapping up and preparing for a sad goodbye...to these people. My KC family from left to right: Michelle, Laurie, Nick, John, Kelly, Michaela.
At our sidewalk goodbye picnic...you'll have to check out the food blog for details :)

See below for more new pics.

Pennsylvania hillsides and more

2008-04-24T12:47:00.001-07:00

I've been enjoying the most luxurious days here in the Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Maryland countrysides. My friends with whom I am currently staying are situated on a hillside overlooking another hillside speckled with cows and horses, a view of more rolling hills and the western horizon. Yesterdays threatening storm afforded an incredible burst of orange when the sun was setting behind, a lovely breeze and lightening! I have spent my days sitting by the river, driving through the covered bridges in this green and blooming countryside, sitting by another river, on the bench swing, in the grass under the tree, in the churchyard, in the park...reading, contemplating, refreshing, breathing, writing, watching. I mean, luxury of all luxuries for this wandering mind, soul and body.

I'm still somewhat sick, but thankfully I haven't been lacking in energy since early last week. I've considered the possibility of it being more serious than your average cold/flu...but I think my body just hasn't been given the chance to really fight it off once and for all.

And although not quite as lovely, but certainly still 'my cup of tea', I will be enjoying the next 24 hours roadtripping to Kansas City with a short respite at my cousin's place overnight.

My time in D.C. was spent with family and also my good friend Aaron. I arrived into downtown D.C. Friday afternoon after a long bus ride listening to the overly chatty ladies from Long Island in the seats in front of me... you know what I mean!? It was funny...mostly. That evening I went with my Aunt (a dietician) and my cousin (a nurse) at a dinner/talk given by a doctor from Ethiopia about a clinic in his home country built to care for women afflicted by fistulas. It was very informative and a treat to spend the evening with these family members who share similar interests as me in their work. :)(from left to right: cousin Kathryn, aunt Kay, uncle Ed, Aaron, cousin Margaret, aunt Sue, uncle Richard)

Saturday we enjoyed a lazy morning eating bagels. My other aunt and uncle came from out of town to join us for the day. We packed some snacks, cut some azalias from the yard and headed out for a visit to Arlington National Cemetery where my father is buried. I very much needed that time to be there, especially with family who remembers and loves my dad with similar grief and delight. I wish I could carry this gravesite, that afternoon, in my pocket.

Sick in love with NYC

2008-04-15T18:12:00.001-07:00

I've concluded that I'm officially getting old. I lost a few hours of sleep this weekend as I started my vacation sleeping on benches in airports and riding on buses and trains and eating less than satisfying and nutritious foods and I'm completely and literally sick and exhausted as a result. Out of my routine of eating habits, not sleeping enough or in my own bed and getting sick, I mean these are signs of old age if you ask me!! I'm disgusted. What am I supposed to do with myself if I can no longer travel so flexibly and still remain healthy and strong?! This is what I live for! Thankfully, New York City has been bright with sun shining down with its healing rays this week and I've been soaking it in. But, at the same time, the cool Brooklyn accommodations I've got with my friend David are literally 2 feet from the subway stop outside his windows... incessant rumbling, squealing breaks and flashing lights all night aren't quite what I'd call a lullaby.
So, like I said, I'm in New York City this week. My friend has another friend visiting this week, so she and I have been roaming around the city gawking and marveling at the sites and heights. We took the free Statten Island Ferry ride today. Lovely view of Manhatten and old Lady Liberty. We spent a long time wandering around the construction and commemoration sites at 'ground zero' - quite moving and impressive. Apparently 'everyone says this', but New Yorkers are really really helpful and friendly! And David's friends here at school are lovely. We were at one of his friend's quaint Parisian-like apartments tonight where we had wonderfully fresh and delicious meal of fish, tomatoes, mozarella, toast and balsamic vinegar.
Mmmmm.... here's to another night of attempted sleep and health recovery...

ADVENTURE RACE THRILLER #2

2008-04-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like waking up at 5am after 4 hours of sleep knowing that you will be 'racing' for the next 24 hours...constantly moving for 100miles... It wasn't as bad as I had imagined, though. I was anxious about it up until the night before at which point I realized what a difference it makes when you're facing such a physical and mental challenge with other people! I had a great team for my second adventure race - the Hamel bros, Colin and Fletcher and our new teammate, Peter. You'd think that with all the months of planning and thinking we'd be able to pull this thing off without a hitch... wrong atronsky (as my dad used to say??). I realized about half an hour before our pre-race meeting Friday night that ... I had forgotten my tennis shoes... MY SHOES!! were an hour away somewhere forgotten in my room in Kansas City. At first I was sure I'd have to be the fool and make an open announcement to see if anyone had some I could borrow... we made some phone calls to Colin's mom, Fletcher's wife... too big, too small... Wal-Mart... But, thanks to the wisdom of my friend Kelly, it was becoming clear that I couldn't very well run, bike, walk, paddle, much less survive for 24 hrs and 100 miles in someone else's shoes! I needed my own even at the expense of time and gas. Then, something beautiful came about... my housemates back at home agreed to meet me half way with my shoes (AND I won a sweet camelbak during the raffle)!!!! And sure enough they arrived somewhere between Lawrence and KC, with my shoes and a guitar serenading me under the lamplight. It was so energizing. And it made the night a little shorter and a lot more enjoyable! I still didn't get to bed until the early morning hours, but I had realized by then that I wasn't in this alone. We were going to have a great time, there was no doubt about that!
And...sure enough, we did! We finished in an unofficial 19 hrs 8am - 3am (plus the 45 min we spent waiting for our life jackets at the river). It was a beautiful day, marked by a lovely sunrise, the rays beaming through the clouds onto Clinton Lake, an eager dog following us as we biked the country roads outside of Lawrence, a freaky good sandwich from Jimmy Johns and a lot of good laughs.

Early on in the race, after the first leg of orienteering, we were rerouted to do more navigating, after arriving to the lake to find that the boats from the earlier (12hr) racers hadn't yet returned. When we came back the second time we discovered that they had actually lost a number of canoes to the open waters as many teams had succumbed to winds and waves!! We were not going to paddling the lake! There was definitely a sense of relief and disappointment as we moved onto the next part of the race - we missed a good challenge, and our legs were looking forward to sitting for a while, but we also cut a good 10+ miles and 4 hours off of our day. So, we made our way a couple miles to where we had stashed our bikes and a bunch of food and came upon the biggest tragedy of our day!... we had forgotten the quesadillas!!! No quesadillas... was beyond words tragic. This was to be sustenance for the rest of the race, we'd been looking forward to it with every ounce of beings!! And they weren't there. We had to settle for dry, unsalted tuna and bagels. It was made up for with a stop at Jimmy John's later though :)... they really lived up to their claim - freaky fast, freaky good - a perfect way to get some quick calories in the middle of our race. It was fun to be in town for part of the race, not just out in the boonies, like last time.
So, after we picked up our bikes we peddled like maniacs our next orienteering challenge, where we learned that we'd all be getting thigh high into the murky waters of the wetlands... little did we know as we set out that we'd also be marching through the cold waters and reeds up to our ankles for at least half a mile for part of the adventure... and yes thigh high at least once... It actually turned out to be pretty therapeutic for some of our aching bones and joints!
After the wetlands we set out for KU, where we'd run around finding check points on campus before hitting the 10 story rappel site! I'd have to say it was one of the prouder moments in my life as I approached the building anxiety-free. Less than a year ago such a challenge would have had me in tears. But, this time, I felt excited and ready and even eager to give our first timer, Peter, a few pointers. Unbelievable! Here they are: Peter and Colin

We were off to make our way to the River Trails with a stop at Jimmy Johns to refuel! The last time I had done that single track mountain bike ride it was thick and messy muddy, nearly impossible to enjoy. But, this time, (my third time there, 4th time mtn biking ever) it felt mellow, almost relaxing and we flew through the 8 miles of track and trees in just over an hour. It was then that we were finally ready to face the waters.
We soon discovered that they didn't have life jackets for us, which afforded us an extra 45 minutes to get our bikes strapped with zip-ties (thanks to the genius thinking of the master Fletcher) to the boats. We hoisted out boats to the bottom of the ramp and warmed our toes by the fire. It was about 7pm and it started drizzling just about the instant we put in on the river... so with rain jackets on and head lamps lit we headed out into the abyss hoping to find our exit to the ropes course and beyond. With the guidance of the dim lights of the brave boats ahead of us we made our way off the main river into a little inlet where we passed under two sets of ropes crossing over. Up the hill we came around to find a traverse set up where we tied in to the rope above, held on with our hands above our heads and side stepped all the way across the river, wibbly wobbly all the way...and then... the zip-line!! The zip line... I stepped up on the ledge, and with people counting down for me, I closed my eyes and let go with a scream that pierced deep into the darkness, I'm sure. Then it was over. I was half tempted to do it all over again, had it not been an actual race!

The rest of the night on the river was a bleary mess of frustrating attempts to steer clear of the shallow shores and avoid large objects protruding from the surface of the water. The rain and the darkness were making it difficult... near impossible to see anything. We tried to sing, but didn't know any songs, though we made a feeble attempt at making one up. We tried to sleep, but were too afraid to fall in or miss our exit. We tried to stay in the middle, but found far-reaching sand bars. The few minutes when we decided to take a breath, take in the moment and turn off our head lamps were the best.

By some amazing grace, we found the exit we were looking for after overshooting it by just a little. The shore line we were trying to navigate was an indistinguishable gray/black of shore and trees and sky that we happened to find our way through to the incoming Wakarusa River and up to the boat ramp where we'd finally get off the river. It was a miracle or something, the other 2 teams that had been ahead of us had not yet arrived... they had made a wrong turn or gone too far! I think this gave us the little boost of morale we needed to finish strong as it meant we were no longer in last place!! We spent some time by the fire, changed our socks, stuffed our faces with bread and espresso beans and started on our way from Eudora all the way back to Clinton Lakes Recreation Area... a long ways for a midnight ride. But, we did it! We survived, we finished, we had a great time...

The quesadillas awaited us in the car, no less! We were in bed by 5am and up and at'em by 10 for the 'awards ceremony'. My body ached, but I was so pleased with how well we did and so enjoyed reliving the memories of the previous 24hrs. As people talked about the nationals and the next races, I found myself easily imagining doing it again. There's no way you regret something like that. It was amazing, empowering, beautiful and really fun to get so dirty and be outside moving for so many hours!
I think the funniest times in my own experience were when I couldn't seem to get food in my face fast enough and I'd be double fisting a piece of bread and trying to drink gatorade at the same time and have to start riding again, with the bread still in one hand. I could actually feel my body become re-energized by the food intake. :) I also LOVED coming home to read all the 'shout-outs' that everyone left for us. That was great!

So, the canoe fiasco, cost the organizers of the race about 7 boats... all of which they had to replace... a lot of money. It became a beautiful effort of the race participants to help raise the money for these guys! The winning team contributed their winnings back into the cost of replacing the boats and $2,767.50 was raised! Here's the website, it's just sort of endearing: https://www.armonkey.com/canoeassist.cfm
and if you want to check out more of the race info:
www.bonkhardracing.com
http://www.checkpointtracker.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=app.showDashboard&eventID=136

GI Journey

2008-03-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

Ode to the Grapefruit

Almost everyday lately I have enjoyed the sweet juicy goodness of a grapefruit. After peeling it I bite into one of the slices with my teeth, using my lips and mouth to keep the juices from exploding everywhere. Thus begins the mastication and ingestion of my food. My tongue and salivary glands go to work on the grapefruit section initiating the mechanical digestion process. The papillae on my tongue and the smell of its citrusy aroma allow me to experience such delight during this process. In the meantime, the section of grapefruit is being made into a little ball or bolus to be propelled down the esophagus – the process of deglutition or swallowing.

Once my delicious grapefruit hits the stomach many hormones and enzymes go to work on it. Chemical digestion is now included with the mechanical digestion in the stomach. Waves of peristalsis pass through the stomach churning the grapefruit mixing it with gastric juices making it into a thick soup consistency called chyme. Once it is ready the pyloric sphincter relaxes and allows the chyme to head into the small intestines, starting with the duodenum. In the 3.5m of small intestines the nutrients and water from this amazing food is absorbed into my body – including Vitamin A and C and lycopene (a carotenoid pigment and antioxidant) and the soluble fiber that is found in grapefruit. The bile from the liver and gall bladder come into play here and help my body to absorb the fat-soluble Vitamin A and lycopene. The water soluble Vitamin C from the grapefruit is passively absorbed with water through the intestinal walls.

As it makes its way through the small intestine giving my body lots of good heart healthy nutrients it becomes a more porridge like chyme (of course this includes the other stuff I ate for lunch too that I didn’t mention) and enters the large intestine through the ileocecal valve.. This valve opens and the cecum relaxes during the gastrocolic reflex. The last of the water, electrolytes and vitamins are absorbed here in the colon. Mucus is secreted to help with excretion of this final product. Colonic peristalsis helps move the chyme, now feces, onto the rectum and anal canal. The internal anal sphincter relaxes giving me the urge to allow it to pass through the external anal sphincter also. But, luckily, since I’m on the bus, the external sphincter is under conscious control and I can wait until I get home to eliminate the waste from my grapefruit – the fiber from which will help this particular waste be easily eliminated.

disclaimer: don't worry, I'm not actually writing this stuff just for my blog (although that would probably be pretty cool) this was another class assignment :)

TO DO:

2008-03-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

-Take care of some tax business CHECK
-Clean out the car and get gas CHECK
-Write essay for Midwifery school application CHECK
-Help make the most amazing pizza on the planet and eat it outside during sunset CHECK
-Swim More CHECK
-Sort papers CHECK
-Put off reading for school another whole day CHECK
-Stay up until midnight again even though alarm is set for 6am CHECK
-Spontaneously rent 2 movies from the Library for $1 CHECK
-Wear green 'look-like-new' pants day and night for 48+hrs straight CHECK
-Try to be as cool and witty as Ashby by writing such a list on my blog CHECK
I'm on a roll.

Guess Who?

2008-03-18T17:56:00.001-07:00

Recent additions to Life:
Stereotype Guess Who?!

It's the newest, funnest, most controversial version out there. All you do to spice up the old game of Guess Who? is alter the question criteria from objective to subjective in nature. For example: instead of asking "Does your person have blonde hair?", you ask "Is your person a high school drop out?". And instead of asking "Does your person have make-up on?" You ask, "Is your person a musician?", or "Did your person have an affair?". etc. etc. You may think this creates impossible odds at winning... Not true... though both teams failed the first round; second round we BOTH guessed each other's person!! It was thrilling (maybe a little disturbing) how accurate our stereotypes were that we could pin point which out of 30 persons it was. It is also fun to do with a partner who knows someone that you don't - so you make guesses or stereotypes and your partner in the know confirms or denies them. It would work great with those old high school year books. :)

And, don't forget about Speed Scrabble, Oolong tea and Northern Exposure (early 90s TV show).

I've never been much of a game player, but lately it's been pretty fun. I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I spend the VAST majority of my days/nights studying, sleeping or thinking as I stare at the people in the pool - alone and quiet - social interaction has become such a treat. My lifeguarding days are near over and I can hardly wait. Maybe by then I will have become a regular at the scrabble table, who knows.

I spent this last weekend with my housemate (and friend) enjoying an Ultimate Comfort Marathon in the company of angels (her sister and brotherinlaw). We lazed around, watched a movie in the afternoon, marveled at the simplicity of making beer bread (and ate it), slept, drank fresh chamomile tea, got inspired to roast our own coffee, discussed the similarities between midwifery and hospice care, watched Northern Exposure in the afternoon... you get the picture. There's nothing better for these gray drizzly days.

You'd think I was back in middle school but for the impressive vocabulary, no?

2008-03-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

So, this week in my anatomy and physiology class, we are learning about the circulatory and respiratory systems of the body (And of course how they relate and effect women in labor). Below, I am proud to present a short narrative told from the perspective of a red blood cell on its journey through the circulatory system.... (not so proud am I of the fact that until this week none of this was really familiar to me! What about you??? let me know if you learned anything)

THE ULTIMATE JOURNEY

Well, are you ready for another round? I’ve just returned to the Right Atrium of the heart loaded with Carbon Dioxide that I exchanged for the oxygen I dropped off at the local capillary beds of the brain. The journey wasn’t so bad, just up the aorta and back down the Superior Venae Cavae, deoxygenated and ready for another Circulation – first Pulmonary to get more oxygen then Systemic to deliver it…again.

Here we go, down the Tricuspid Valve into the Right Ventricle. With the next Ventricular systole (contraction) we’ll be headed up the pulmonic val…Woah, here we go!…looks like we’re going left through the Pulmonary artery down into the left lung off through the capillaries to meet up with the alveoli to exchange this CO2 for some fresh oxygen.

Ooh, tight squeeze, we got a small capillary this time, it’s gonna be single file to get this load of oxygen. And, we’ve got oxygen!! We’re off, through the cardiac veins up to the Pulmonary veins, and gathering back in the heart, this time in the Left Atrium…

Wait for it… Diastole time!! …down to the Left Ventricle via the Bicuspid or Mitral Valve. Now that we’re finished with the Pulmonary circulation portion of our journey, we’re about ready for the Systemic circulation – go exchange some nutrients and oxygen for some carbon dioxide and other waste products, sounds like fun!

Are you ready to head up the Aorta? With the next systole we’ll head up through the Aortic valve around through the Aortic arch and… I have a feeling we’ll be descending this time, taking the oxygen we picked up to the tissues of lower legs or something. We’ll see...

Hm, I guess we’re stopping here somewhere near the knees. We’ll first make our way through the arteries then arterioles all the way to the capillaries where we’ll diffuse some oxygen and nutrients with the surrounding cells and pick up their waste and carbon dioxide.

We’ve completed our task! Now that we’ve left the capillaries we’re back in the Venous system, heading through the venules back to the veins, I think we might be in the popliteal vein and ultimately in the Inferior Venae Cavae and back up to the Right Atrium of the ole’ heart where we’ll start this journey all over again…

Thanks for tagging along! (the last two web references probly won't work since they are in our 'classroom')

www.med.umich.edu/1libr/aha/aha_circ_art.htm

http://www.globalclassroom.org/hemo.html

http://www.avivamoodle.org/moodle/mod/resource/view.php?id=8542

http://www.avivamoodle.org/moodle/mod/resource/view.php?id=8544

hyperlinking

2008-03-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've learned how to utilize these hyperlinks in my midwifery class so here goes a try:

Check out the Wilders - the band we went to see on Saturday night. Oh man, it's good stuff.

Looking forward and looking back

2008-03-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

Forecast: 65+ degree weather the next 2 days here. Already, 48 feels warm. Have I told you how my favorite, absolute favorite, thing to do when the sun is shining at those temperatures is to lay on the roof outside my bedroom window. It is glorious. The sun moves across right over head (E to W) and I can see the sunset from there and feel the sun's warmth most of the day. And reflected off the black rooftop it is extra cozy warm.

I recovered surprisingly well from my back injury/ache last week. It kept me down for a few days, I struggled a few days more but was on the dance floor at The Wilder's concert only 6 days after the onset. I believe the dancing and my magic boots (the turquoise and white cowgirl boots I bought 3 years ago in Montana) were my healing remedy. I had the best night dancing of my life!!! Boys who know how to dance and are happy to dance with you and GREAT old timey bluegrass tunes are the key...and some good (magic) boots. Wow. It left me breathless. It was so much fun.

Also, we tried the first round of our home brew and you know what? It tastes great! For any of you passing through here in the next few weeks, we will probably have some for you to try :)

waste not, want not

2008-03-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

My friend Corinna posted on her blog today her noble effort to salvage 15 lbs of carrots that were on the verge of going bad, after a roommate, not being able to pass up a good deal, bought a 20lb bag of 'em, determined to make carrot juice everyday... for eternity apparently... and lost steam about 5 lbs in. Corinna, by cooking and juicing and freezing, salvaged every last one for future use in breads, stews, juices etc. !!! Nice work Corinna!!

Here's my story. We have, in our household, every intention to compost, save and reuse any possible reusable container (yogurt containers and the like), recycle as much as possible etc. Sometimes we use these old yogurt containers to store compostable material in to later be taken outside to our 'compost' pile. (which, by the way, is in a very sorry state...due to recent freezing weather...neglect, ignorance etc.). There have been two such 'reused' yogurt containers on top of our microwave for an unknown length of time (determinable by mold growth, maybe?). I have been avoiding them for weeks probably (as have all of my other housemates), knowing that they are foul and we will not be able to, in good conscience, use the yogurt containers again for edible food nor recycle them (KC doesn't recycle #5). So, tonight, I did the sad and repulsive task of dumping these 2 containers of moldy sick disgusting rotting junk into a dry cold pile of crap in our back yard, reclosing the containers and throwing them in the garbage...the regular old garbage, having failed at every level...unless by some miracle of the midwest our compost heap actually turns into something like compost come summer... that will be a victory!

lessons in compassion

2008-03-05T16:48:00.001-08:00

I've been at home for 3 days now after tweaking my back on Sunday. I did get a great and muddy mountain biking adventure in before realizing just how bad my back was. And granted I've got some good studying done, but I'm weary from not being able to move with ease and you can only watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy so many times (once in two days is enough I guess). Up until Sunday afternoon I was enjoying a regular run or some form of exercise, especially with the nice weather! And now, I'm hobbling around the house mostly stuck in some immobile position waiting, hoping for it to pass. My in-house physical therapist has done some work on it and I'm hoping that will do the trick. I am pretty convinced now that I would have a hell of a time coming to terms with chronic pain if that were my lot in life...and I suppose it is a gift to be able to empathize with those who do live with chronic pain. It is very depressing to not be able to utilize the gift of movement in one's body. I can't say I've been sad to miss work, but I need to be doing something...to earn a buck, to avoid wallowing. But, I don't know if it is wise to commit myself to lifeguard if my back is out of wack...risking further injury to myself much less the loss of someone else's life should I not respond swiftly or agilely enough in an emergency - my body is anything but swift or agile with this back ache.

Well, that's enough out of me. I will say though, that a recent discovery of pandora.com has been quite the nice complement to my home-bound days. That and the neighborhood grocer and cafe around the corner - You Say Tomato - have been delightful.

salpingo-oopherectomy

2008-02-17T18:27:00.000-08:00

Yah, that's right. Anyone know what that is?

Last weekend, my friend Danny came to visit. As an introduction, it doesn't do him or our friendship justice, but he is a good friend from high school. But, his visit consisted of a few highlights that I've been eager to write about here.

First: ringing in Feb. 11th (as in seeing midnight, which I'm not accustomed to doing much anymore) came as we were half around the I-435 loop that circumvents Kansas City. After enjoying a day full of good bluegrass vibes at my roommate's jams we were inspired to take a drive to reflect and get lost in our thoughts on the open highway. So Danny, John and I hopped in the car at 11:30, put in my newly acquired Explosions in the Sky album and drove for an hour and half in near silence. We were disappointed by the lack of corndogs at the QT, but the Doritos, hot chocolate and soda were an adequate substitute for our midnight snacks. And to end the adventure, just a couple hours shy of seeing the printing machines in action, we did a drive by of the 15 story glass Kansas City Star building. Very cool.

Secondly, we started a home brew. My roommate, Michaela, Danny and I saw yet another midnight the next day, sanitizing and stirring and pouring and cooling the makings of our first home brewed beer. After killing the first batch of yeast, a near failure of the whole project, we remembered another yeast packet and crossed our fingers. To our delight, it is still fermenting this very moment in the next room, almost a week later. We hope to have a 'delicious' brew by mid-March...or at least something that doesn't make us gag. Either way I'd consider it a success for a first try! And besides, with a bottle capper the possibilities are endless.

Thirdly, I'm enjoying cooking more and more and if I do say so myself, I think I am actually getting better at it. We enjoyed many good meals cooked right here at home. Usually when a guest comes to town it is protocol to go out to as many good restaurants as possible. And of course we did hit up Oklahoma Joe's...and Chipotle, but boy did we come up with some meals to rival the both of 'em, all on our own!

Fourthly, and this has nothing to do with Danny's visit, which again, was delightful, I am finally planning my next trips. I'm close to a finished product with my plan for a trip out East, which will include, NY, RI, MD, PA and a roadtrip back to KC. I just got word of a possible backpacking adventure for 'spring break' in OK. And I think I'm going to take the 35 hour Amtrak ride back to California in May...anyone want to come with me?

Why Rocheport is so amazing...

2008-02-06T18:46:00.000-08:00

It was the birds flying and the silhouette of winter tree branches against a pink sunset during the drive, breakfast for dinner and breakfast for breakfast (including bacon!), sleeping by a wood burning stove, reading by a wood burning stove, drinking a good beer by a wood burning stove, drinking tea by a wood burning stove, sitting on the porch swing alone wrapped in a wool blanket on a quiet moonlit winter night, playing games in the morning before breakfast, taking a walk with friends along the Katy trail and admiring the snow and gawking at the possum, being where there is no car or road or building in site, being in the company of really enjoyable people, celebration of wonderful Michelle's birthday with brownies and raspberry compote, the makeshift movie screen in the general store where they show free movies every Sunday night, and last but not least, lunch at Abigail's which included: roasted red pepper tomato soup (with ROSEMARY!), field greens with WARM red potatoes and mushrooms and chevre (goat cheese) on top, and homemade tortellinis stuffed with prosciutto and chicken topped with spinach, pecans, dried cherries and bleu cheese - hands down the best food I've ever had in one sitting without exception

here's proof...

2008-02-06T18:28:00.000-08:00

my blankets

2008-02-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

Every night, due to their weight, my blankets shift to one side or the other, of my bed and I find myself only half draped by the middle of the night. And when I make the mighty effort to lift them back on top of me I find the part back on top cold from the frigid floor space where they've been spending the night. Also, about weekly my bottom sheet crawls up and off the corners of my bed and barely retains its shape around the egg crate padding I have underneath it, which consequently gets all bunched up and wrinkly as I am nightly doing weird leg calisthenics to get all the weight of my blankets back into ready position. I haven't figured out what to do about it. Part of the problem is that only the head of my bed is against a wall and my room isn't big enough to change that part of the scenario. Making the bed has become quite the production. Any suggestions?

decisiveness is actually my middle name.

2008-01-28T19:56:00.001-08:00

Along with deciding, this last week, to return to Summit, I have also decided to continue my education through the same institute where I got my doula certification. So, I started my Medical Terminology class today! This and the completion of the other prerequisites (anatomy and physiology) will set me up to start the actual midwifery program in September and hopefully finish by sometime in 2011! It is all online, but eventually I will involve myself with a mentor/clinic - the whole learning by doing thing :). I'm very excited at the prospect of all these hopes and dreams coming to life in a very real way... as I learn which suffixes are used to indicate surgical procedures and how to pronounce encephalomalacia and how to figure out what encephalomalacia (softening of the brain!) means by analyzing the suffix, prefix or root. THIS is where my Latin and Greek education will come in very handy folks.

AND, my drumming class was fantastic. I found ways to practice today while I was lifeguarding - by drumming out a beat on my lifeguard tube to the rhythm of the swimmer's stroke. Hopefully there will be dancing involved at some point too. The decision here will be between belly dancing, hip hop, salsa or west african dance... what's your vote?

Did I mention that this last weekend offered a couple of the most beautiful days that KC has seen in 2008. The weather was perfection. Michaela and I went on a most invigorating, enjoyable jog through nearby parks around the city. We swung on the swing set and smiled at the blue sky. We were warm in our t-shirts. The outdoors was so satisfying after weeks of below freezing temps and laboring through a jog on a tread mill. We had a pseudo-picnic of pizza and dr. pepper in our front yard. The snow has completely melted... and of course will return tomorrow. Oh well. It is amazing what those moments in the sun can do. Don't take it for granted San Diego.

I hear them all... is this what you call wanderlust

2008-01-24T19:36:00.001-08:00

My roommate just made me a mix cd. She is our resident bluegrass musician extraordinaire - plays, among other things, banjo, fiddle and guitar and sings beautifully. It's been one of the best parts of living here - falling in love with bluegrass music and hearing it so often. It is good music. She has a jam session with her friends every Sunday night (sometimes at our house). Her parents even have a jam at their house once a month where her parents and their friends get together and play. AND the local continuing education "communiversity" offers classes on "how to play well with others" i.e. Jamming I & II. Yah, KC, MO is where it's at. I've nonetheless decided to return to Summit this summer to cook again. I'm very excited about being there again for those glorious months of summer - basking in the Bass Lake beauty and Summit community. But, I sort of sit in wonder at how I can do this to myself again... fall in love with another place, community, existence only to leave. I get mad at myself, then try to play the apathy card; that it doesn't matter. But really, I ache for my whole life/memories/loves to all converge, to lose all sense of longing and just be. It's enough to stop where I am and find a cabin by a lake and some trees with a nearby mail drop and a telephone line and just 'keep in touch' with those I've already fallen in love with and can't seem to live without. I don't know how to keep up this pace of my desire to visit and know everyone in person - but how can I give that up? My cousin is about to (or just has) have her first baby and she's only an 8 hours drive away - why not head out there for the weekend? ... While I'm that far, Chatanooga, Aiken, Richmond, Annandale, D.C., Arlington, Hagerstown, NYC, Boston, Newport, Millersburg, Waynesburg are all just another days drive or less from each other. I spent one whole slow day at work figuring out potential travel itineraries for these places, these people whom I want to visit...especially now that I'm this close...half way closer than San Diego, that is. Oh and Illinois, Colorado, Texas and Minnesota too... And this is just stateside... before June... I've also got strong interest in Congo, Kenya, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Australia and beyond... for now...and ideally soon. *sigh* The best idea I've heard lately is to go work as a tour guide or something in Alaska for 5 months out of the year make $25,000 or so and spend the rest of the year traveling. Any other ideas? Sometimes I try to convince myself that I'm eager to settle down and all it would take is for someone to buy me (or buy myself) a little house in Colorado Springs where I could be close to grandparents at least, take my midwifery classes online and stay for a while. Then, why not here? I've got it all here...I mean it is like -10 degrees outside, but I can still breathe and everything else is great....maybe I just breathe a little easier near Yosemite?

Here's some of the artists featured on my new mix: Alexi Murdoch, Phosphorescent, Ray LaMontagne, Bon Iver, Tim O'Brien, Old Crow Medicine Show, Ryan Adams, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds....ETC> Good road trip music...

hospitality

2008-01-21T20:04:00.000-08:00

As the dust settles from weeks of visitors in and out of our little house on 31st street I am content to be alone in my room warming my feet with the microwavable corn bag that Sister Teresa from around the corner made for me and each of my house mates. She learned of our struggle to both keep our house at a barely livable temperature (it's rare that our themometer sees 65) and not pay more than $300 for our gas bill...when it's 2 degrees outside it's a little tough. So in addition to storm windows, plastic coverings, caulking, blanket upon blanket and the regular use of small space heaters (watch out electricity bill), we now also have little warmers for our toes and hands made from the corn from Teresa's brother's farm in Nebraska and the cloth coffee sacks she gets from her work. I love that it actually smells like corn when it comes out of the microwave :).

Speaking of something coming out of something else...(??)...I attended a birth last week, my first as a certified birth doula! It was 'pro bono' so to speak as I'm needing to get some more hands on experience before I start charging for my services. It went beautifully. My 'clients' were gracious and kind and encouraged me simply by trusting and allowing me to support them in their courageous act of welcoming their lovely little girl into this world. Though I have not born my own children or attended the births of many babies, I'm finding my role as a doula to be familiar and more natural than I could have imagined.

We've had neighbors over for tea recently and a few friends visit from out of town over the last couple of weeks. I love hosting people in my home! It comes naturally to me. I love making and eating good food together and enjoying a special cup of tea with homemad scones, or pumpkin waffles topped with cranberry sauce and yogurt! With the recent addition of fresh blueberries, dried cherries and almond extract to our cupboard the craft of scone making and eating has never been better! Guests have marveled at the use of our fancy serving trays and tea sets; delighted in the warmth of sitting around our small kitchen for hours. I am never happier, more sure of myself or more satisfied than when I'm given the opportunity to make someone feel welcome and at home.

As a doula, I am rediscovering this love for 'hospitality', as I am entrusted with the space where a baby is to be welcomed.

20 degrees....feels like 7

2008-01-03T06:57:00.001-08:00

It's about time I get this heartache off the front page and tell you about the holidays.

With my gut giving me the go ahead, I headed out on the morning of December 22 with a couple guys that responded to my add on craigslist.com and offered me a ride to Colorado. I was giving up a flight the next day and a confusing configuration of rides to and from the airport. This way seemed a lot more simple. And in fact it was. We made it through the beginnings of a messy blizzard along I-70, which we learned partially closed behind us. They were pleasant company for the 10 hours we were on the road. I had decided to keep in touch with friends and my brother in case anything happened, but I was surprising my family at my grandparent's house with my early arrival. We arrived just as my mom and grandpa were returning from the grocery store and I was received with an incredible shriek of delight and look of bewilderment. It was perfect timing. I made it in time for Christmas dinner and had a lovely time playing dominos with everyone. I was particularly glad that I got to spend some time wit my uncle Ric and his girlfriend Hilary before they left the following day.

The sky was its usual bright blue, but for the chill in the air, it was beautiful to be able to sit on the porch in the middle of the day and enjoy the sunshine. I even slept on the porch the first night, but was practically blown back inside by the fierce winds that nearly lifted my sleeping bag off the ground! The rest of the week in the Springs was the usual scene of everyone sitting around reading or watching tv or wandering around the house a bit aimlessly, taking a trip to the grocery store or a morning walk to Starbucks. It was restful if not a bit...okay... very lazy. I did finish the book I was reading: What is the What.... A story written from the perspective of one of the 'lost boys' from Sudan. It was a startlingly thorough account of this young man's life... Although it sort of gives one a false sense of understanding what some of these refugees have been through, I'm glad I read it and at least can get a sense of this one person's life and his experience of the war in Sudan as he has remembered it.

As the days led further and further away from Christmas it was time for us to leave the warm laziness of my grandparents' house and head down to Arizona. More blue sky and temperatures above freezing :). I got to spend a good amount of time with my brother and sister-in-law and enjoyed the company of my parents and some of their friends. Found myself as usual sifting through all the things I seem to find in my parent's garage each time I go home. And I left with a whole extra bag than I arrived with!

My return to Kansas City has been delightful. I thoroughly enjoy the company of the women with whom I live. They are all uniquely lovely and we live so well together. My one roommate and her boyfriend left my car for me at the airport as I did not arrive until the wee hours of the morning. And they left me a container of yogurt and a spoon on the seat for me! Funny, but after wheat thins, peanuts and air travel, nothing sounded better!

It has been bitterly cold these first few days of the new year. At the moment my hands are being chilled by the slight breeze that makes its way through the less than airtight window in my room ( I can sometimes see the the curtain lightly billow...through the storm window, screen AND window pane!). So I've scooted my oil heater dangerously close to me so I can continue to write without my hands getting too stiff. I'm wondering if I can talk myself into riding my bike to work today...? ...especially when the weather report says it's 20 degrees and feels like 7!!! and it's windy...

I've spent much of the new year watching all the kids who are off of school swim with their families or friends. As much as I love it, I dread the moment when something goes wrong. I tell myself that I'll know what to do if and when the time comes... It's still terribly unnerving to watch little toddlers face plant in the water or kids plunge under the surface for more than a second off the water slide or lose sight of that lap swimmer who's decided to test their lung capacity... ugh.

With my doula class finished and some extra time on my hands I'm eager to get my 'business' started! I admit I'm dragging my feet... towards another exit from my comfort zone, I guess. This will hopefully include teaching swim lessons and a prenatal water fitness class too. I will soon be trying my role as teacher/coach/instructor on for size. I am a doula and I think my soul is itching for me to live as such...not just a 'life-guard' per say...

I am probably the furthest I've ever been from being able to someplace other than where I might be able to drive in a day or two... though I haven't stopped day dreaming. However, I have friends (or friends of friends) currently in or soon headed to Ecuador, Argentina, El Salvador, Sudan, Kenya, Congo, Australia, New Zealand, India, Nepal...!!! etc. A vicarious living of these travels is almost enough for me to remain very content here in the middle of the midwest of America freezing my toes off...but not quite...